Today I went to a bar, a bar owned by an Elephant safari. At this bar there are two monkeys, monkeys which will come up to you, drink your beer, pee on you and steal things.
All three happened while I was there. The moment I walked up to the bar the offending monkey -named Charlie- swung right up to me, snatched them off my noggin and quickly ran off.
I was . . . bummed. . to say the least.
So there I stood. Not really knowing how to react. Am I allowed to be angry, the monkey doesn't know any better. But surely they should have taught them not to steal things. Oh come on, it's a wild monkey, they're curious, it just wants a look. But they were expensive sunglasses, and I really liked them. Where the hell did the monkey go! Where can I go and buy a fake pair. Oh man, this is really going to dump on my budget. Damn monkey.
Luckily for me, while this little drama was playing itself out inside my head, one of the guys from the bar went after the monkey and got him to drop them. Literally, drop. Ouch, I suppose it was too much to hope that the would gently place them on the floor.
The monkey then proceeded to sit on the bar and start pissing everywhere. Barely missing me and another guy. It got it's comeuppance though when the local dog started trying to hump it. Seriously people, if you want a mental image to make you laugh simply think of a raggy assed street dog, trying to hump a monkey.
Ahh, yes, one I'll surely never forget.