The big visa fuck-up.

I created a Skype account simply to call NZ immigration from Thailand. I called them and I was assured that I could apply for my working holiday scheme visa online, and then land in the country and finish my application there by handing in my medical certificates in person. I was assured that I did not need a ticket out of the country if I showed proof that I had enough money in my bank account to purchase such a ticket.

It should have been so easy.

For a start, my taxi driver didn't turn up to take me to the airport. I called him to see where he was and in doing so woke him up. It was 5 in the morning. I had a plane to catch. Right there and then I realised that this was going to be a loooong journey.

I got to Singapore without too much difficulty and then went to the Early Check in counter to get my boarding pass for the leg to Melbourne. ?Oh? said the man at the desk, ?there has been a change to your itinerary.?

I now was no longer getting a flight straight from Singapore to Melbourne. Oh no, now I had to stop at Bali inbetween.

Bali. I frickin hate Bali.

Upon arriving at Bali we were subjected to 45 minutes of searching. I went through 4 scanners, got frisked twice and had somebody go through the entire contents of my hand baggage before I was turned around and told to get on the very same plane I had just been told to get off.

I was tired by this point. I'd managed to get aisle seats on the two flights before and so was in some desperate need of sleep. I got back on the plane, back into yet another aisle seat and looked forward to the next 5 hours of insomnia.

I finally landed at Melbourne after almost 24 hours of being on the move and catching no winks. I went to the next check in desk to get my boarding pass for New Zealand.

And now it gets a bit tricky.

Now they tell me that I do need a return ticket or I'm not allowed to travel to the country. I explain the bank account thing. They say it doesnt matter. They call NZ Immigration for me. I explain to the guy on the phone my predicament and he says don't worry about it. He says that my Working Holiday Visa has been accepted so all I have to do is buy a ticket leaving NZ at any point and then just never use it as I'll have a years visa.

It's a drag I think to myself, and it's more money I'm having to spend, but hey, these things happen. So I buy a ticket leaving NZ at some point in the future and get on the plane.

I'm a bit gutted that I spent loads of money on a medical in Bangkok but I'm happy to finally be on my way to NZ so I don't let it bother me too much.

I land in NZ, tell the lady at immigration the story, she checks on the system and my visa has not been approved. But I talked to a guy not 3 hours ago I tell her, and he said it had been. Please step this way sir she tells me. Yes, I'm taken to the side at immigration.
I've watched Airport.

I'm screwed.


I explain once again to a lady what has happened. By this point I'm pretty aware of the fact that I'm completely at the mercy of somebody behind a desk. I'm on thin ice. They take all my paperwork, go into an office and chat for a bit. They come back and say they'll give me a one month visitors visa to sort myself out.

One month. If I'd have simply landed and said nothing I could have gotten a 6 month visa simply for being British. This one month visa is quite simply immigration taking the piss out of me. But it's your fault this has happened I tell them, I did everything I was told to, I went and got a medical, I bought a ticket, I have all my paper work on me. You have to apply for the Working Holiday Scheme from outside the country they tell me. I did I tell them, I applied from Thailand. I was told to bring the paper work here and I would be able to hand it in myself. I tell them that when I phoned from Melbourne I was told I'd been approved which is why I asked. I tell them that if I'd have said nothing I could have gotten a 6 month visa. You have a one month visa they tell me, take it or leave it, and by leave it they mean leave the country.

I take it.

This means I'm now in the country with only a one month visitors visa. I'm going to the office tomorrow to try and sort this whole mess out. I've spent a fucking fortune trying to get this visa sorted. What with the whole mess Thailand managed to make out of it, to get to civilisation and still get dicked around is what can only be described as slightly annoying.

This could end up being a very short trip for me.

I've put so much money into this visa now, I literally cant afford to not get it. If I don't then it's home time for me. If I cant earn over here then I've got to leave basically straight away. I don't have the resources to holiday here as I've got to buy a ticket to the other side of the world to get home.

I'm so pissed off right now it's just not funny. How hard can it be for something to go right.


Ps ? the mountains are beautiful, the snow is ace, I've already been boarding, the people are superb, my accommodation is lovely and my landlady is cool as school.

A catch up.

I hate having to write catch up posts but seeing as I seem to be more slack than not, I'm simply going to have to make do.

A number of things have been happening to me recently.

There was the case of the stool sample. Was it needed? Would I have to travel to Bangkok to shit in a pot? Did anybody at the hospital have the faintest idea what was going on?

There was the long distance, heavily delayed telephone call with Immigration. What documents did I need? Are they sure? Are they really sure?

There was a whole night of pretending to be from Eastern Europe so I could put on a silly voice and talk absolute nonsense to a hooker.

There was the Australian girl who lost my phone. I'm assuming she threw it in the lake because the ?I put it on the table next to you? story doesn't add up.

There was the Australian guy who became shockingly rude when I pointed out that his whole country was built on the waste product of English society.

There was an Australian girl who wanted to sell me 3kg of cocaine. Sure love, I'll buy 3kg of cocaine off your 'friend' . . . . . idiot.

Infact, there's been quite a lot of activity on the Ozzie front.

And there was the most amazing fight I've even witnessed as Richie ' the Rino' Prior took a beating for 3 rounds before kneeing the absolute hell out of some Thai guy. What a night. He now has 5 stitches in his forehead. Classic.

And finally, but for me most importantly, there was my decision to leave Thailand.

Sure, it's been fun, and it's been an experience, but I'm off.

This is why I've not been updating for the past fortnight. I've been very very busy sorting myself out and getting ready to move on.

So, if any of you good people are going to be in New Zealand this year, come visit me.

Yes, I'm off to the land of mountains to try again at this whole 'life' business.

My nomadic ways are still going strong and I'm going to move even further away from England. Once again I've got a one way ticket to some far flung corner of the earth that I've never been to. Once again I'm going to try and make a go of it. Once again I'm not coming home and I'm not getting a 'real' job and I'm not getting a mortgage and I'm not getting married and I'm not being sensible and I'm not thinking about my future and I'm not taking the easy road and I'm not worrying what my CV looks like and I'm just not giving a shit.

I'm going snowboarding instead.

Bite me.

I blink too much.

I've been told I blink too much when I'm in the ring. Every time someone throws a punch at my face, I blink. This is not good. So to train this out of me, drastic measures had to be adopted.

This found me with my back to a punch bag, my head resting onto it, while someone punched me repeatedly in the face. I tell you, it's just not that easy to keep you eyes open while this is happening.

The situation was not made any easier because I was killing myself laughing. Stood there with my eyes wide open while someone rains punches down on you just isn't my normal Wednesday morning routine.

Well, not since I left Coventry anyways.

25 to go.

The letter inbetween "H" and "K" on my computer is broken.

Good ob that's not annoying while hunting for employment.