Everything ends.

Once again my time away from home draws near. I'm as skint as a struggling actor with only Hollyoaks bit parts on their CV. While the call of the mountains, the fresh air and the adventure is strong, I simply have no funds with which to stay out here. So in about a week I'm heading home to get the bank account stocked up again. Not all is lost though as I've managed to secure myself a job over here for next season. This means I've got half a year to try and get good at jumps on my board so I can come back here and . . ahem . . ?rip it up!?

Bi Eck!

Havnt had a joke backfire like that since I took the piss out of someone for having a Jewish nose.

Anatomy of a crash.

My confidence was high. My turns were getting better and I was getting faster.

Sooner or later something had to go wrong.

Ok, nice one wardy. Going well now. Cracked this sucker. Right then, lets get up a bit of speed just for kicks.
Thats it, getting faster now. Turn right. Sweet. Turn left. Awesome. Just a touch of straight lining to get the blood pumping. Ace.

Go for the nice long right hander. . . oh . .oh thats good. Feel the edge grip. Now keep the speed up into a nice long left. Going straight now. Start the turn.

Start the turn.

Turn.

Turn?

Lean Wardy, get your weight moving. Twist the shoulders, point the hips.

Oh crap.

Going quite fast now, still not turning. Bend the knees. Weight on the front foot. Wait for the turn to happen.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Oh crap.

Right then, don't panic. You're in control you just need to try harder to tu . . ROCKS!! Big frickin rocks down the hill. I'm gonna hit the rocks. I'm gonna hit the rocks.

Lean damnit. Lean. Twist the hips. Don't panic. Everythings cool. Lean forward, lean forward . . . . stop leaning backwards . . stop leaning backwards . . .stop it. . . STOP.

Oh man, I'm soooo out of control. Don't panic, lean forwards and you'll get control back.

!! I'm going to hit the rocks. I'm going to hit the rocks. !!

Ok, battle stations . . lean, twist, panic, move weight, get on an edge, stop panicking, lean forward . . do it do it do it.

Rocks! I'm leaning back, oh man the front of the board is off the ground, I'm a sliding wreck waiting to happen . . ok, one more try to get this under control.

Lean, twist . . CRAP! I've hit the deck. . . . I'm sliding.

I'm sliding.

I'm sliding.

I'm slidi . . . Ouch! That was a bump. Still sliding

Man I'm sliding a long way. My elbow hurts.

Whoa!! ok, now I'm sliding sideways . . nope . . face first. I'm sliding down the hill face first.

Still sliding. . . . . . ok. I've stopped.

Awesome, I missed the rocks.

Balls, I'm right next to the T-bar.

Try and look cool, like nothing happened.

Nope, not working.

Ok then, grin like a lunatic and laugh out loud.

Much better!

I'm not a regular guy.

I've got something on my chest that I really feel I need to say to everybody. It's a bit of a revelation for me, and while I'm excited about it, I'm also slightly nervous.

I know this is going to come as a shock to some of you, and I know those of you that I've emailed will have been expecting this, but I want to get it out in the open so that I can move on with my life and become more comfortable with it.

I'm Bi.

I started getting curious about this sort of thing when I split up with my girlfriend. I don't know if it was *because* we split up or *why* we split up. All I know is that after we were no longer together, I started to feel these urges.

Then I landed in New Zealand and the urges wouldn't go away. I met a couple of people here that were already living this type of life and we just clicked. We went out to a bar one night, I had a couple of drinks and everything snowballed.

I've always been curious I guess. I've a friend back home that has been this way for years. He's open about it. Will tell anyone that asks. Never shied away from it. You can kind of tell just by looking at him, the way he dresses, the way he acts . . . his movie collection.

I suppose I simply had to act on my curiosity. For months now I could do nothing but think about it. How does it feel, does it give you a rush . . . does it hurt?

The first time it did hurt. A lot. I could barely walk the next day. What made it worse was that I was so excited to get started I didn't use any protection. I always thought I was smarter than that but I guess I just got caught up in the moment.

I thought about giving up, it didn't feel right. There was something in my head saying this just isn't natural. But then I started to read magazines and websites for people like me. The men all looked so relaxed. They looked happy. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. If they could do it and still smile, so could I.

I was worried about doing it again. I mean, this was all new to me, was I taking it too fast?

Even though I had my hesitations, I couldn't help myself. A whole new world had opened up to me and I wanted to explore it all. It felt so right, how could it be wrong.

I've been practicing for a few weeks now and I cant try to hide it any longer.

I'm Bi.

Bi-rotational.

I can turn both ways on my snowboard.

Have It!