Was not a question I was expecting as I walked into Gap today. However, it would seem that buying drugs in my city centre is now simply a matter of walking around and looking like the type of person that would buy drugs. Unfortunately, if I was going to buy drugs would I really buy it off some random scabby guy that accosts me in the street? It would seem so much more logical that this guy should concentrate his efforts on the literal crowds of urban scum that accumulate like brown froth on shallow streams, rather than any old uber-dude that just happens to be walking by.
However, being the type of person that sells drugs in the street probably rules him out of being able to make these kind of informed decisions about society. That coupled with my blatant disregard for clothes that look like they were made to fit, hair so outrageously out of control that I'm seriously considering wearing a beanie to the gym, and a friend who look like he probably does use drugs on a regular basis, and I can kind of see where the poor chap was coming from.
Needless to say, I did not purchase any of this mans questionable-in-quality skunk and busied myself with distracting the manager of Gap from doing his job properly by trying on any item to hand and organising a "Welcome to the city" outing with him.
It was while in Gap, distracting the manager, not buying drugs, that I was remind of something that happened almost exactly three years ago. I was out shopping for a friends birthday and we decided we would get this ace stuffed monkey we had seen.
As a side note, this was not during the big ITV monkey saga, it was not the ITV monkey, the ITV monkey and this story, no relevance hold.
It was dressed in a bright yellow mak and hat which we thought were a bit lame so we decided to take it to Gap and get it some nice clobber. We entered the shop, went upstairs to the Baby Gap section and flagged the attention of a nice girl on sales.
The conversation went as close as matters to the following.
Hi, I think we're going to need a bit of help here.
OK, how old is the baby that you are buying for.
Well, it's not so much of a baby. . . . as we need you to dress this monkey.
(Wardy pulls the monkey from the bag with all the pride that a monkey can be pulled out of a bag with)
Oh.
Yeah.
True to form though she pulled through and we bought some tiny trousers and a tiny top. The monkey looked ace, the present was well received and another birthday went down a storm.
Remembering that made me wish I had started this blog when I was 15. So much stuff has happened that I have forgotten about. I know that most of it is lost forever so it's always nice to get things like this down so I can look back in years to come.
Saying that , the university dialogue is coming along nicely and if anyone reading this was at uni with me and can think of something memorable that happened, then mail me and I'll be sure to include it.
Theatre tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes.
Skunkless Wardy out.