I was stood looking at the Oakley cabinet at work a few days ago when I was struck with an idea. This was an idea so good that when I got in that night I e-mailed Oakley with it. Although I am waiting on a reply I still feel that it credits being shared with a larger audience. You are they.
I was looking at the names of all the glasses when suddenly I realised that Oakley could produce a pair of sunnies, the likes of which the world had never seen, and sell thousand upon thousand of pairs if only they had the right name. Like a flash of light through specially tinted and polarised lenses the idea came to me. They should name a pair of sunglasses. . . the Doakley!!!
Think about it.
Recently I also took the problematic hair that I own and once again tried to make a guy with long curly hair not look like a complete chump. I think I'm on the road to success with 'mah new dreads! Unfortunately it has only turned me into a chump in recluse. At the moment they are in that awful "bedding in" stage. This basically means that they look a bit kack, and will continue to do so until they turn into real dreads and not just bits of hair held together by beeswax. However, while in the vulnerable early stages it is recommended that you wear a pair of tights (well I say pair, I guess just one would do) over your head while you sleep to stop the little fellas from coming undone due to your relentless tossing and turning. I have dutifully followed these instructions and being wearing one on my head during slumber.
Now, and heres where the chump bit comes into it. Wearing one of these things on yer noggin is not one of the more comfortable things you can do. I mean, these things are tight! Maybe I'm just doing it wrong, I honestly don't know, I don't have a lot of experience with them. After a couple of nights I was thinking to myself, there has got to be an easier way.
And there is.
You see, your neck is considerable thinner than your head. Therefore, the seam which has been cutting into my head would not be so tight around it.
Stay with me here people.
There I was laying in bed, tights on head (stocking, tight, nylon, I'm not really sure what the proper name is for what I'm wearing). I'm laying there thinking, "This would be so much easier if I just pulled it completely over my head."
"No way" I think back to myself, "Can you imagine what a complete freaking loser you would look like". But then I figure, who would see?? It would just be me, my dreads and my tights. (for future reference, please shoot me if I ever come close to using a sentence like that again, there is only so much shame one man can handle) So with a little further ado, I pull the tights down over my head, Bank Robber style!
The pain - gone. The dreads - secure. The look - not good.
I have been sleeping like this for about a week now. Every time I do it I have to laugh to myself. Even if I end up not going with the dreads I will be glad I tried it solely for this endeavour.
Threre's a bank robber in my bedroom and he wants natty hair!