Imagine London. Then put the temperature up to the high 30's. Then increase the price of everything.
Congratulations. You are now imagining Singapore. Welcome to budget Hell.
I thought going to Singapore for the visa run would be a good laugh. Instead of just going to Burma for the day, why not take a three day trip and really enjoy myself I thought.
Why indeed.
We landed in Singapore to find that every hotel but two that the airport had listed was full. And the two that had rooms available were over our budget. . . oh how this would become a running theme.
We got in a taxi and told him to take us to Chinatown. We had heard that this was a cheap place to stay and seemed like a good place to start. The first two hotels we went into waved us off immediately. We put this down to my friends visible tattoos. One woman literally waving us away and saying "no rooms, no rooms" while booking someone in, other patrons queuing up to be served, their inkless bodies obviously more suited to the hotels taste.
We eventually found a hotel that would accept us. I went up to the desk and asked for a twin room. She looked at me, she looked at my travelling companion and then gave us two keys and said "See which room you like".
I found my room, opened the door, and my emotions went in this order - surprise; confusion; amusement; worry. I had opened the door to a very small room which contained a small shower cubicle, a tv and a double bed.
Double bed.
One bed.
For two people.
No - no - no - way.
The other room was slightly better. It was two single beds that had been pushed together to make a double. They could be separated by all of thirty centimetres.
I'm all for saving money, but this was taking it a step too far.
We booked both rooms and headed out to sample the nightlife.
We found an Irish pub. This seemed like a good place to start the night Now you have to understand that you get three Sing Dollars for each Pound. I sat at the bar and ordered two drinks. They arrived and the barmaid asks me for $13. Not bad I'm thinking. More expensive than Thailand but still acceptable. I reach into my wallet, take out a twenty and hand it over. She stands there looking at me. I don't really know how to react so I keep on sitting there, I take a drink. She still stands there, I'm getting more uncomfortable. I look at her and smile, this seems to work in the majority of my uncomfortable moments. She leans forward again, raises her voice above the music and says "sorry sir, the drinks are $30".
Thirty dollars. For two drinks. That means they were ?5 each. For a pint!
I do the stupid "oh pardon me" routine which only serves to increase the fact that I look like an idiot. I pay her the $30 and sit looking at my pint. The most expensive pint I have ever bought. I drink it slowly, savouring the taste, for I know that it will be one of the few drinks I'm going to have in Singapore.
Other annoying things about Singapore.
When you go to eat, the price listed on the menu is only really a 'best guess'. It bears little to no resemblance to what you will actually end up paying. The best example of this would have to be a couple of drinks that we bought from the airport bar. The drinks were $9.80 each. Quite pricey enough you would think. But then when I go to pay with a $20, it's not enough. Now I've never really liked maths but I was pretty sure that 9.8 x 2 is less than 20. but you see, I forgot the 'sucker' tax that gets added onto anything you may buy, if you look foreign. These drinks, after three extra bouts of Tax, one of which was simply to round the figure off, came to $22.40.
Consider myself jacked.