While on the train to Birmingham this weekend I had the sorry fortune to be
confronted with stupidity usually reserved for the most bizzare of Monty
Python sketches or a double bill of Trisha.
I was on one of the new Virgin trains, there were examples of the failed
eduacation system all around me. Between music tracks I could hear two of
the welfare snatching, child producing drains of society talking loudly
between themselves, and the whole carrige, as if to display just how far we
havn't come.
The woman (who shall now be refered to as 'she') was saying to the man (
'he' ) that the new doors were just soooo stupid.
"I mean, you have to press a button to open one door, and then another
button to get through the next door. It's like every door you get to you
have to press another button."
Too true my dear, too true. However, please if you will, cast your mind back
a few moments to the doors you had to overcome to get to the train station.
I think, and I'm going out on a limb here, but I THINK, that you might have
had to open all of those individually as well.
Yes, I would even go so far as to say that the buttons on these trains are
actually replacing what is commenly called a 'handle'. This is a mechanical
object which one physically engages with to push, or pull, the offending
door out of your way.
But then he says, "I know what you mean, it's not like they're building
space ships or anything!!"
Hold On.
1. Space Ships. Lets just take a moment here to check when we were born. I
think we stop calling them Space Ships when we reach our early teens and
realise that Captain Bucky O'Hare isn't actually the toad kicking hero we
always thought he was and that space travel is so boring in real life
compared to cartoons that we may as well just not bother.
2. I would like to see Mr "Why do I have so many children", build a stable
family environment, much less a train.
3. In what life, in which city, during how many alcohol related fantasys did
this couple actually believe that they had ever been in a situation during
which all the doors they wanted to get through opened automatically. Unless
these people live in a shopping centre, or simply don't have doors, then
thier whole conversation eludes me.
I can't belive that somehow when I get on a train I am considered a nusaince
because I want to listen to music, which nobody else can hear, and yet we
continue to allow thourghbred stump jockeys like these to air thier badly
conceived conversations for the whole carraige to hear. If I had my way (
and my weather changing device is near completion so not long now ) there
would be areas on trains where you were not allowed to talk. You could read,
or listen to music, but benign conversation would be punishable with
enforced depature at Coventry.
To end I would just like to say that it would have been less expensive for
me to drive to Birmingham and pay parking than it was to buy the train
ticket.
Go Go Gadget Government.