Out of my way, those are my croutons!!

Well it’s Christmas eve and today I will start and finish my Christmas shopping. To do this I intend to travel to Meadowhall and take full use of the elbows that God gave me to nudge, coerce and barge people out of my way. Then after queueing for what I’m sure will seem like and eternity, I will get back on an overcrowded – stinking of pee – bus and await the serenity that is my house.
To accomplish all this without feeling the need to resort to outright violence I will be turning my music up very loud while I’m walking around and staying away from any music that contains bass guitars, drum kits and lead singers with blood shot eyes. I think for this type of expedition it’s more of a “one guy, one guitar, one mic” kind of vibe.

I am alone.

I miss not having a computer in my room. I have come to realise this after I have come home without my pc for the first time in 3 years. My room feels odd without it. There is no longer a soothing hum from its fan, nor the warming glow of the LED. I can no longer go into my room and chill out to music or write e-mails or drop into MSN to see who’s on.
Now I have to go into my parents room and do my writing.
It sucks.

Goodbye Tuna, hello anything else!

Well I’m back home now for Christmas and this can mean only three things.

1 – I am going to eat like a king as I no longer have to pay for the food!!
2 – I will be able to eat more than tuna and pasta every night.
3 – There will be more flavour to my food than the one pot of mixed herbs and spices I put on everything.

It’s almost as if there is a theme here.

My mum is trying to finish the Harry Potter books at the mo. Apparently she isn’t worried that this is in direct contradiction to her Christian faith. It would seem she doesn’t realise that harry potter is satans messenger and that by reading the books she is only one step away from sacrificing me on the alter we have in the basement, then drinking my blood and waving my spine around in church next Sunday while singing Marlyin Mason songs.
I tell you, the adults of today!!!

In my. . .

In my head - Construction engineering coursework, going round and round and round.
In my belly - Chilli con carnie jacket potato with cheese
In my ears - Jason Mraz giving it some with his licks.
In my mouth - Chewing gum so I don't stink of chilli at the meeting I have in about an hour.
In my eyes - Word 2000.
In my calf - Pain from the Iron Maiden concert. Cause Unknown.
In my mind- Plans for the Christmas ball tonight. Be nice Wardy, don't make a fool of yourself, you have a date, don't be yourself!
In my tongue - A bar where the top keeps popping inside my tongue when I sleep and I have to push it out again in the morning.
In my dreams - Money, girlfriend, bike, new pc, nice house, job offers, Talisker and diplomatic immunity.

Cello to Bellow!!

So its Tuesday and at lunchtime we had a classical rendition of Christmas carols to raise money for charity. We had Richard on cello and his sister on flute - her name eludes me, I'm not being rude, I think its Cathy but cant be sure! - We ate cheese, chocolate and crackers, drank wine by the box and managed to drag £180 from people for the privilege. All in all quite a successful day. Then, to really round off my day of classic music and culture I went to an Iron Maiden concert!
To say they ruled would be to cheapen the word rule. To say they were the bomb would just be lame. To say they fully and wholeheartedly kicked the proverbial ass out of every single tune they did while looking cool as you like and rocking the place so hard it made Coventry's cathedral blowing up look like a wet tissue being eaten by a pigeon, would be closer to the truth than Saddams balls were to his larynx when he heard the yanks coming down his steps.
The Maiden rule, to say otherwise is to lie, and people don't like liars.

Oh I only have Alessi in my kitchen. snort snort

Its Monday night and I'm at a fundraiser for the Automotive Design people. They charged 3 quid to get into the nicest bar in Coventy and had free drinks goin, do the math, how they made money eludes me but I was there and feeling a little un-designerish. The thing was, they all had the same haircut. They all had half arsed mullets. There were no full on mullets cause they are still lame, but they were all hinting at it, which would seem to be cool. I was there with my boring old normal short hair, Tom had his quite cool longish hair and neither of us had a parker jacket or a canvas bag. Still, we had a good time and left with the warming glow that can only come with free Sambuka.

Mighty Mo...

So its Saturday and I have nothing to do apart from finish coursework off, but it's the weekend and I feel like a deserve a break so find it increasingly difficult to sum up the courage to actually do any. Luckily for me I get 100% distracted when I get a phonecall from Sam asking if I want to go down south with her to chill at the pub? Well let me think, stay in Coventry, the ugly horny girl in a club of subdued hotties, or go to a pub for the weekend? So off we went and spent the whole weekend doing fully nothing. We put some lights in a tree. That was it. the rest of the time was spent labouring over what to eat for dinner (oh yeah, I had a gorgeous meal every time we ate - guine fowl for dinner, yes please - ) or trying to decide what to drink next, Guinness or wine?? I tell you people, when this is the biggest decision you have to make in life, it sure feels good!!


Louging about on Sunday night and we were looking for something half decent to watch on telly. There was nothing on the normal channels so we went to sky and still, nothing looked that good. So we started looking through the kids channels. What did we happen to come across?? Right there in the little blue box was "Might Mo…" Nice one I though, havnt seen Mighty Mouse in ages. So I hit the button and what was there in front of me but "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers".
I felt old people. . . . for the first time, I really felt old.


Unfortunately all these things have to come to an end and on Monday morning I ended up back in the sticky pocket of the midlands. Went to lectures and dreamt about the next time I get to go to a pub and not pay for anything!

Mammoth Update To Make Up For My Lack Of Updating

I know I havnt blogged for a while. This is not due to some blatant lack of interest in my blog, it really is because I have been too busy to. This shall all be put to rights now though, with what I like to call my "mammoth update to make up for the lack of updating blog" kinda catchy I know, I thought of it myself.

Its my geeky moment here.

Now I know this is going to make me sound like such a lu-hu-ser but I have just been converted to the wonder that is Mozilla Firebird. This program rules like nothing has ruled before. I am amazed, it literally makes browsing the internet a piece of pee. Now I know I've sometimes been described as geeky; nerdy; sad; recluse; honest; hardworking; trustworthy; good looking; fair; funny; open; easygoing and single but looking (ladies???) but this really is a piece of software that you should all get.

That's enough of that.

I found some more Speechwrites LLC tunes today that they have put online, I downloaded them with easy using Mozilla Firebird (arrgh, did it again), so I've been listening to them for almost all the afternoon. Its getting dark now and when I came up here I had a cup of tea and toast.

My crazy new phone arrives tomorrow and I just cant wait for that first exciting 20 minutes while I press everything and do everything it can before it gets resigned to my pocket for 23.5 hours of everyday. This means I am going to have a "full of fun" night going through my old phone and writing down all the numbers. Sometimes I need to just slow down!!

All that was meant go get posted last night but the internet wasn't working. I would like to point out at this juncture that it had nothing to do with the might that is Mozilla Firebird, more the junk that is NTL cable.

I've just got back from the gym, phone not here yet. Still excited!

Not a bad result really.

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

and according to the people here, this is what I'm meant to be like. Must admit I do agree with " they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking, or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty in school." Finally, an excuse for handing in lame essays time and time again!!

How to be blatent.

Sat in a lecture, third year of my degree, the stakes have been raised, we are expected to produce work of an exceptional standard, our lives - literally - laid out before us and the leaders in our field surrounding us, moulding, teaching, educating.

First line of lecture this morning,
"Planning and organisation clearly has an impact when it comes to planning and organisation."

Not even said in jest. . . . and they want to introduce top up fees for this stuff!!!

I got my hair cut today - wow wardy, exciting blog - and just round the corner from the barbers, not 500 meters from my house was a sack load of police, in a street they had closed off with unmarked cars, carrying guns in manner that made you want to watch while simultaneously making you hope nothing kicked off. Brightened my day to think that this time the bad guys got really screwed!!!

Then I got home and unbeknown to me there was an absolute fox in the house. She is one of my housemates friends from back in school, really made me aware that I had hair stuck all over my face as I came through the door!

Its gone and done it again.

I just found out that yesterday one of my housemates had to get himself out a fight because some guy thought he was a cop.
He was just standing there, at quarter to four in the afternoon, waiting for a friend and someone starts a fight with him!!!

Words can literally not describe the hatred I have for this cesspool of humanity.

Brits go to Spain for their holidays.
Satan goes to Coventry.

A Smashing Time!

I have done NO work all weekend and its feeling good. After all the stress I figured a couple of days off was just what I needed before I have to get back into it again for the remaining two weeks. So what have I done then. . . well.. . nothing. That's kinda the point. I have woken up at quarter to seven every morning but instead of resigning myself to getting up soon, I have rolled over and gone back to sleep.
This is made even more tricky by the fact by bed is right under a velux window and so lets light stream directly onto my bed. I would pull the blind down but it sags at the edges and then falls off in the night and scares the life out of me. I'm still trying to rig something up to stop that from happening.

In fact this weekend has been great. And it's not even over yet. I have a whole half-day left. I'll probably get my hair cut or something equally as thrilling.

The only bummer of the past couple of days was last night. We were sat around having a good old fashioned chin wag when the guy who left only twenty minutes previously came back in the house carrying his bumper. He had only got to the end of his road before he was T-Boned, pushed across the road, spun round and into the corner of a skip. Luckily he's ok but his car is basically written off. To make matters worse the car that hit him just drove off. Now looking at the damage to his car, which is pretty extensive, the other one must have been in a similar state - albeit minus the hole the corner of the skip made in the rear doors -. Once again Coventry manages reinforce its status as England's diseased little sister.
Stolen cars being driven at speed around the back streets, surely not your honour!

Toilet, Yes. . . Humour, No.

Literally seconds after blogging I got up and went to the toilet. There was a guy infront of me as I walked in and there are three urinals. So what did he do, he went to the middle one!!!
What is all that about. I just stood there for a second trying to work out what to do. He was a big bloke so to stand next to him might have meant some serious invasion of my personal space, this left me with the only other option of having to use a cubicle. Why did he do that. . . why??????
I am mainly shocked with a touch of appalled.

But mainly shocked.

The Library, , , My Home.

Yes ladies and gentlemen I was there till midnight last night, its now about five in the afternoon and although I am close to finishing, I’m not quite there yet.

All I really have left to do is my referencing so its not that bad, its just that the tutor who Both these essays are for is a real stickler for getting references right. If you don’t use the Harvard method, you may well get shot.

Life this week has been one long essay. At eight last night in the library I was discussing how I wasn’t comfortable with the way my essay was going with my housemate when, after about twenty minutes of good healthy debate, we concluded that I was doing it wrong. Yup, 2300 words in and it all fell to pieces. He was more than happy though as he was just about to start and so now knew exactly what he had to do. We discussed this further with Sam and then called Tom – who incidentally was at church asking the man upstairs for help with his essay – dragged him out of prayers and into the library, then set about slogging through the motions that is the education system.

So now nearly one whole day later and both essays are close to completion. It has been a long day already, and it has a few more work hours left in it yet. If I get finished for about seven I’m going to a carol service that the CU are putting on. I figure this will be a nice way to wind down. Then tomorrow I’m working with another guy to finish off some group work and then it’s all over.

And do you know what I’m gonna do then. . . . . after sleeping. . . . I’m gonna buy myself a bottle of Talisker, Isle of Sky, 12 year old Whisky. I’m gonna get myself a clean heavy glass, put two large ice cubes in it, pour myself a healthy measure of the gold stuff and then repeat as necessary.

Ohhhh, its gonna feel good!!!

Bed Bugs. . . literally.

I have just noticed how crazily noisy my bed in when you move about on it. thing is, now I have noticed it, it seems louder. I always knew it was relatively noisy, but now, as I come to be more aware of it, it gets noisier. I feel this cycle will never end so am looking for an alternative.
Knowing me I will probably end up sleeping on the floor again like I did for the whole of last year.
But what to do with the divan?????

The Incubation Of Disasters.

". . . when an unattended mental patient lights a match in a high-fire risk hospital."

Quote from a book I'm reading.

Oddly Helpful.

With only a week to go till coursework deadlines I was starting to get a wee bit worried about my work. I didn't sleep for trying to work out when I would do what, for how long, what targets I needed to set myself, the list went on. So after a crappy nights sleep - on my crappy bed which I will get to later - I got up to the sound of pouring rain.
I ate my breakfast, got a shower, got my books together and all the time all I could think about was the fact that I had to walk to uni in the rain. I don't like this city at the best of times and trudging through it at eight thirty in the morning while getting rained on did not sound like my idea of fun. So there I was, getting myself into a worse and worse mood when I just came to my senses and thought, " you know what Wardy, Fuck it"
I decided there was nothing at all I could do about the rain, so why worry about it. I threw my coat on my bed, put my earphones in, turned the music up and set off to uni in a t-shirt.

And let me tell you, I felt soooo much better for it.
I mean yeah I got wet. I was fully soaked through by the time I got there, but I felt so good. I was in my own world on the way there; everyone else had buried themselves under coats and umbrellas, all rushing around looking as pissed off as I was only minutes before. And there I was, slowly walking through puddles with my hair stuck to my face and a grin all the way across it.
It felt surreal, I couldn't hear anything but my music - yeah yeah, I know, that's really dangerous - and the rain was so hard the near distance had a mottled grey distortion to it.
The best bit about it though, all my worries were washed away, it was like spiritual cleansing. It reminded me of when I used to play in the backgarden as a kid when there was a thunderstorm. My brothers and me used to run around in our shorts and have competitions as to who could see the biggest bolt of lightning.
So there you go, next time you are feeling stressed about anything, just walk really slowly through a rainstorm, you may not like the rain, but you can't stop it, so why worry about it.