31 May 2004
30 May 2004
Was really looking forward to pancakes but then. . . . .
This weekend I ran out of eggs.
Me simply telling you this is a measure of how exciting this weekend was.
While I’ve mostly been daydreaming, I have been reading up for my next exam. I have three days per exam to cram into my tiny cluttered head as much information as is possible for a boy not yet augmented by science.
The best explanation ever for why you shouldn’t believe everything you see and hear.
( I wrote three ‘quirky’ ways to get to that link which included “The Day After Tomorrow”, African Politics and Avril Lavigne. However, when I read each I realised I had managed to miss the point of the link and ended up less ‘quirky’ and more ‘pitiful’. This is why you now simply get a sentence. No misdirection, no made up anecdote and no painful long way round before I linked in the last sentence. Simple and concise, like biscuits.)
Me simply telling you this is a measure of how exciting this weekend was.
While I’ve mostly been daydreaming, I have been reading up for my next exam. I have three days per exam to cram into my tiny cluttered head as much information as is possible for a boy not yet augmented by science.
The best explanation ever for why you shouldn’t believe everything you see and hear.
( I wrote three ‘quirky’ ways to get to that link which included “The Day After Tomorrow”, African Politics and Avril Lavigne. However, when I read each I realised I had managed to miss the point of the link and ended up less ‘quirky’ and more ‘pitiful’. This is why you now simply get a sentence. No misdirection, no made up anecdote and no painful long way round before I linked in the last sentence. Simple and concise, like biscuits.)
27 May 2004
26 May 2004
The Fireball Stomp.
This site will bring a smile to even the most pained and over worked of eyes. It’s yet another Fireball, you gotta love us.
After infringing an auto mutilation jamming my proper indicating finger in the door of the car, I discovered that exactly with the x-ray showing a breaking still I am the bistoury fastest of the west.
It’s translated from Portuguese.
I now love the Portuguese.
Go check out Luiz.
After infringing an auto mutilation jamming my proper indicating finger in the door of the car, I discovered that exactly with the x-ray showing a breaking still I am the bistoury fastest of the west.
It’s translated from Portuguese.
I now love the Portuguese.
Go check out Luiz.
School days.
I was in this kids class at school when I was doing my GCSE’s. I’ve been over to his house for dinner and to muck about. He came to mine on occasions for this very same reason. I have met him in night clubs. I’m not saying I’m close to this guy anymore, but there was a time I would have called him a friend.
It’s a funny messed up old world.
It’s a funny messed up old world.
25 May 2004
Why hello there!
I’ve been wondering for a while now who the people are that read this stuff. I’ve been trying to work out an easy way for you to send me messages, but, seeing as I don’t really know that much about putting websites together, I’ve had a bit of difficulty.
Until now that is.
I have put together a crazily simplistic page from where you can send me random musings. I was going to put comments up but I really don’t want to and figured this is the next easiest thing.
Anyway, if you could take a sec and just send me a message so I know who you people are that would be massively appreciated. I’m particularly intrigued to know who the Americans are that keep on visiting!
You can find the link of the left.
No real substance tonight I’m afraid as I’ve been hours putting this together.
Hope to hear from you.
The Fireball.
Until now that is.
I have put together a crazily simplistic page from where you can send me random musings. I was going to put comments up but I really don’t want to and figured this is the next easiest thing.
Anyway, if you could take a sec and just send me a message so I know who you people are that would be massively appreciated. I’m particularly intrigued to know who the Americans are that keep on visiting!
You can find the link of the left.
No real substance tonight I’m afraid as I’ve been hours putting this together.
Hope to hear from you.
The Fireball.
24 May 2004
It's the pressure behind your eyes that'll kill ya.
Today I shall be quick and leave you with a couple of links. After the drama of the weekend, today seemed beige and uneventful.
Beauty
And the
Beast.
Beauty
And the
Beast.
23 May 2004
Ying and Yang.
My weekly Sunday ‘long’ bike ride, (ie, to the place we usually go and then some till we get bored) was fraught with difficulty today. Never before have my emotions been through so much. I shall explain why.
We set off after watching the Grand Prix (which was very very good by the way) and about 2 miles down the canal there were a bunch of police stood by a bridge. It turned out we couldn’t go any further as there were ‘unidentified objects’ in the canal. Due to this we were forced to look for an alternative route to get further down river. As we left the canal basin and tried to find our way we very quickly came to a pub just next to a bridge over the canal, a pub that was swarming with police. After a quick ‘Diagnosis Murder’ glance at the imaginary camera we deduced that some pissed up nobody had decided to jump off the bridge to cool off. Nice move numb nuts, the canal is only about 4 foot deep ( and yes I know this for a fact!!! ) so you probably ended up stuck head first in the dirt at the bottom. Not so WKD Blue now are you!
Anywhoos, we found ourselves in bandit country ( charming slang for the many down trodden estates we endured cycling around ) and ended up looking very lost as we went down cul-de-sac after cul-de-sac looking for one of the many paths that lead on to the canal. Then suddenly a young lad obviously feeling our plight asks us if we were lost and promptly directs us to two gates he knows of. This kind deed was all the more unexpected as we were surrounded by GTi’s and ‘swanky’ alloys, all of which usually mean you are in the midst of the ‘smash and grab’ culture.
Finally we found our way back to the canal. But not before we stopped off at the world’s most unhelpful bike shop. There were five people in the shop and I don’t think we got glanced at once. The shop was full of bikes that looked great yet weighed as much as Trisha’s compiled divorce proceedings and had replaced strong durable aluminium for weak brittle plastic on almost every part which would be put under strain in the normal operation of riding a bike.
So we found our way back to the canal. We were riding down it and all of a sudden our lives were put back into balance by the cosmos. The earlier kind act was obviously pulling at the very fabric of the universe and we were cycling in some kind of ever tightening spiral that would eventually lead us to evil. We found it. Very quickly.
Ron usually takes the lead when we go out. I don’t know why this is, it’s just how it happens. Suddenly, Ron was braking hard, and then just as suddenly he was head over tits into the dark disease ridden waters of the canal. He did a full forward flip and entered the water head first with the bike still under him as if pure hope would allow him to ride out of this. In a space of time too short to measure as my brain tried to take in what was happening somebody had grabbed me and pushed me towards the canal. I knew I was falling. I knew I had been pushed. There was very little I could do except contemplate that all the times I have wondered how I would first fall in, this was never something I had considered.
I was underwater, I was attached to a bike. My head came above water and my first thought was ‘I hope it’s not deep cause I’m not letting go!’. Luckily I could stand. Ron was already out the water by the time I noticed him but his bike was nowhere to be seen. He was stood looking at his sodden digital camera, a look of disbelief and pain etched across his wet face. A little further down the canal was the culprit. Stood there. Looking at us.
Words entered my head. Sentences formed, they went along the line of “Fuck, I’m about to get the shit kicked out of me.” I stood in the water, holding the front wheel of my bike ( I don’t know how I ended up holding the front wheel either, it was just in my hand when I surfaced ) the man just. . . Stood there. Looking at us.
In times like these, when nerves are on edge and adrenaline is pumping, it is very difficult to know what to do. Is the guy armed, is he gonna freak out and start stabbing us, is he gonna demand our bikes, is he a druggie, does he have syringes on him??? These are not nice thoughts to have, even more so when you are very aware just how close to life they may be.
We start fishing our bikes out the canal while keeping a very wary eye on him. Slowly he starts to come towards us, he looks twitchy, I’m still in the water looking for Ron’s bike, the man looks at us and says “Sorry about that.”
Stop the clock. I’ve got the clue!!!! It says you're a mentalist.
What the fuck. Sorry . You just pushed me in a canal shit for brains. Why are you apologising?
It turns out this guy was ‘Protesting’ against bikers on the canal path. Oh, hang on a minute, is it a bridleway? PUSH ME IN A CANAL. . . . IT IS, SO I’M ALLOWED ON HERE!!!! However, you try explaining this to Mr Obviously On Edge And Probably Dangerous.
While I’m still wading around looking for the missing bike we point out to him that his protest seemed a little ‘over the top’ ahem, so to speak.
Hmmm, with hindsight telling an emotionally unstable man with violent tendencies that he may have reacted in a way not befitting social norms seems a little pointless.
Then he offers to get in the canal and help us look for the bike. I’m still not sure this guy isn’t going to hold my head under the water till Ron agrees to go to the bank and withdraw all his money so I quickly refuse.
So there we were. I’m in the canal looking for a bike, Ron is stood on the edge close to this random guy and nerves are fraying like cartoon jumpers.
I finally find the bike and we pull it out, then as I come to get out this guy offers me his hand. In the time is takes to go ‘ooohhhh’ after you see someone on the telly get kicked in the nuts, I consider pulling him in. However, then I would be in the water with Mr Lets See How Hard I Can Grip Your Neck. I decide that if we are going to get out of this alive, we had better go the humanitarian route and if that doesn’t work just try our very hardest to beat the shit out of him if it all kicks off. I take his hand and he helps me out.
Now that we are both on the path there seems to be a change in his manner. He apologises again for pushing us in, apparently his dog was ‘terrified’ and that’s why he did it. He then says that he stayed around as he would rather “We just have it out now rather than you jumping me later.”
Hold on Johnson.
Any guy that stands there, and plain as day says, “Lets fight.” Is either one of two things.
a) Fucking nails.
b) Fucking nuts.
Whichever way it swings, this situation was weirder than Round The Twist while nursing a hangover. There was no way I was going to attack Mr Probably Got A Knife In My Sock For Backup. Yet what to do?
Ever the diplomat, and desperately searching for a way to avoid a starring role on Crime Watch, I try to open a dialogue.
Why did you do this, what possible reason could you have?
It turns out he is ‘sick and tired’ of mountain bikers tearing past him and scaring his dog. Yet the only reason he had a chance to push us in was because we slowed down so we wouldn’t scare his stupid little dog. He then got back to the whole ‘you shouldn’t be on this path’ argument and we had to cut that short as tempers were starting to fray on both sides.
This guy was a mystery to me. On the one hand, he pushed us both in a canal in the space of a second. On the other, he stayed around, even offering to get in the canal to help us find the other bike, then helps me out, then apologises, then offers to fight us, then explains his actions.
You can usually tell the ones that will just attack you, but this guy was getting harder to read by the minute. He got very angry while protecting his actions and seemed to steer the conversation towards him getting angry. Was he doing this so he could just attack us and get it over and done with, I don’t know. I do know that it was freaking me out and I knew that the sooner we got away from him the better.
Finally we agreed to disagree over whether we had a right to be there. We got back on our bikes and rode off.
Looking back this whole episode makes me angry. I’m angry that he pushed me in and I’m angry that I didn’t ‘get my own back’. I feel like I should have gone for him, there were two of us, we could have probably taken him in a fight. And yet, the very fact that he seemed to be steering us towards a fight makes me glad we didn’t do this. As I said, either he knew something we didn’t or he was just plain old fashioned crazy. I don’t know and frankly don’t care. What I do care about is that at the end of the day I only got wet. It could have been a lot worse.
Yeah, my ego got bruised a bit as I feel I should have been more of a ‘man’ and stood up for myself. But then I think about it and realise I would rather be the kind of guy that gets pushed in a canal and laughs about it, than the guy who gets in a fight and brags about it.
So this is me laughing about it. My clothes have been washed and the bikes are safely locked away. Ron and I are unhurt and both back home safely. Am I worried that I might see him again when I go out, yes I am. Is it going to stop me going, no it isn’t.
The thing that really got to me. The one thing that really eats away at me even as I write this, is that when we were parting company, for some bizarre reason we shook hands and left on friendly terms. This has been bugging me all day.
This guy just went out of his way to be mean to me and yet I shook his hand.
For all that I almost despise myself for this. There are two sayings that I hold very close to my heart. The first I got from my dear departed Auntie. It was in the last letter she wrote to me and I run it though me head when I find myself in situations like this.
Don’t wrestle with a pig, the pig enjoys it and you just end up getting dirty.
The second is one that will help me to get over my anger. To stop resenting myself for being who I am.
I don’t think that kindness is a weakness.
Tonight I will mull this 10 minutes over and over in my head, I will think of everything I should have said and everything I would have done. I will be stronger than I am now, I would have won the fight, I would have pushed him in. I would have been the one with a weapon. I should have kicked his stupid dog, I should have pulled him in with me. I should I would I should I would.
Tonight I will mull, I will not sleep, I will boil in my own self righteous heat.
Tomorrow I will see more and more of the funny side. I will realise I have yet another story to tell. I will appreciate that I only got wet when it so easily could have been worse. I will grin when I think of myself wading around in the canal. I will openly smile when I remember thinking I had found the bike and yet pulling up a ten foot long plastic pipe. I will tell it when I am in the pub. I will exaggerate parts and forget others. It will bare only a passing resemblance to the story above, I will laugh when I tell it and the way I tell it shall make others laugh with me. It shall be a story that makes me smile and it shall start;
“Hey, did I ever tell you about that dude who pushed me in a canal?”
We set off after watching the Grand Prix (which was very very good by the way) and about 2 miles down the canal there were a bunch of police stood by a bridge. It turned out we couldn’t go any further as there were ‘unidentified objects’ in the canal. Due to this we were forced to look for an alternative route to get further down river. As we left the canal basin and tried to find our way we very quickly came to a pub just next to a bridge over the canal, a pub that was swarming with police. After a quick ‘Diagnosis Murder’ glance at the imaginary camera we deduced that some pissed up nobody had decided to jump off the bridge to cool off. Nice move numb nuts, the canal is only about 4 foot deep ( and yes I know this for a fact!!! ) so you probably ended up stuck head first in the dirt at the bottom. Not so WKD Blue now are you!
Anywhoos, we found ourselves in bandit country ( charming slang for the many down trodden estates we endured cycling around ) and ended up looking very lost as we went down cul-de-sac after cul-de-sac looking for one of the many paths that lead on to the canal. Then suddenly a young lad obviously feeling our plight asks us if we were lost and promptly directs us to two gates he knows of. This kind deed was all the more unexpected as we were surrounded by GTi’s and ‘swanky’ alloys, all of which usually mean you are in the midst of the ‘smash and grab’ culture.
Finally we found our way back to the canal. But not before we stopped off at the world’s most unhelpful bike shop. There were five people in the shop and I don’t think we got glanced at once. The shop was full of bikes that looked great yet weighed as much as Trisha’s compiled divorce proceedings and had replaced strong durable aluminium for weak brittle plastic on almost every part which would be put under strain in the normal operation of riding a bike.
So we found our way back to the canal. We were riding down it and all of a sudden our lives were put back into balance by the cosmos. The earlier kind act was obviously pulling at the very fabric of the universe and we were cycling in some kind of ever tightening spiral that would eventually lead us to evil. We found it. Very quickly.
Ron usually takes the lead when we go out. I don’t know why this is, it’s just how it happens. Suddenly, Ron was braking hard, and then just as suddenly he was head over tits into the dark disease ridden waters of the canal. He did a full forward flip and entered the water head first with the bike still under him as if pure hope would allow him to ride out of this. In a space of time too short to measure as my brain tried to take in what was happening somebody had grabbed me and pushed me towards the canal. I knew I was falling. I knew I had been pushed. There was very little I could do except contemplate that all the times I have wondered how I would first fall in, this was never something I had considered.
I was underwater, I was attached to a bike. My head came above water and my first thought was ‘I hope it’s not deep cause I’m not letting go!’. Luckily I could stand. Ron was already out the water by the time I noticed him but his bike was nowhere to be seen. He was stood looking at his sodden digital camera, a look of disbelief and pain etched across his wet face. A little further down the canal was the culprit. Stood there. Looking at us.
Words entered my head. Sentences formed, they went along the line of “Fuck, I’m about to get the shit kicked out of me.” I stood in the water, holding the front wheel of my bike ( I don’t know how I ended up holding the front wheel either, it was just in my hand when I surfaced ) the man just. . . Stood there. Looking at us.
In times like these, when nerves are on edge and adrenaline is pumping, it is very difficult to know what to do. Is the guy armed, is he gonna freak out and start stabbing us, is he gonna demand our bikes, is he a druggie, does he have syringes on him??? These are not nice thoughts to have, even more so when you are very aware just how close to life they may be.
We start fishing our bikes out the canal while keeping a very wary eye on him. Slowly he starts to come towards us, he looks twitchy, I’m still in the water looking for Ron’s bike, the man looks at us and says “Sorry about that.”
Stop the clock. I’ve got the clue!!!! It says you're a mentalist.
What the fuck. Sorry . You just pushed me in a canal shit for brains. Why are you apologising?
It turns out this guy was ‘Protesting’ against bikers on the canal path. Oh, hang on a minute, is it a bridleway? PUSH ME IN A CANAL. . . . IT IS, SO I’M ALLOWED ON HERE!!!! However, you try explaining this to Mr Obviously On Edge And Probably Dangerous.
While I’m still wading around looking for the missing bike we point out to him that his protest seemed a little ‘over the top’ ahem, so to speak.
Hmmm, with hindsight telling an emotionally unstable man with violent tendencies that he may have reacted in a way not befitting social norms seems a little pointless.
Then he offers to get in the canal and help us look for the bike. I’m still not sure this guy isn’t going to hold my head under the water till Ron agrees to go to the bank and withdraw all his money so I quickly refuse.
So there we were. I’m in the canal looking for a bike, Ron is stood on the edge close to this random guy and nerves are fraying like cartoon jumpers.
I finally find the bike and we pull it out, then as I come to get out this guy offers me his hand. In the time is takes to go ‘ooohhhh’ after you see someone on the telly get kicked in the nuts, I consider pulling him in. However, then I would be in the water with Mr Lets See How Hard I Can Grip Your Neck. I decide that if we are going to get out of this alive, we had better go the humanitarian route and if that doesn’t work just try our very hardest to beat the shit out of him if it all kicks off. I take his hand and he helps me out.
Now that we are both on the path there seems to be a change in his manner. He apologises again for pushing us in, apparently his dog was ‘terrified’ and that’s why he did it. He then says that he stayed around as he would rather “We just have it out now rather than you jumping me later.”
Hold on Johnson.
Any guy that stands there, and plain as day says, “Lets fight.” Is either one of two things.
a) Fucking nails.
b) Fucking nuts.
Whichever way it swings, this situation was weirder than Round The Twist while nursing a hangover. There was no way I was going to attack Mr Probably Got A Knife In My Sock For Backup. Yet what to do?
Ever the diplomat, and desperately searching for a way to avoid a starring role on Crime Watch, I try to open a dialogue.
Why did you do this, what possible reason could you have?
It turns out he is ‘sick and tired’ of mountain bikers tearing past him and scaring his dog. Yet the only reason he had a chance to push us in was because we slowed down so we wouldn’t scare his stupid little dog. He then got back to the whole ‘you shouldn’t be on this path’ argument and we had to cut that short as tempers were starting to fray on both sides.
This guy was a mystery to me. On the one hand, he pushed us both in a canal in the space of a second. On the other, he stayed around, even offering to get in the canal to help us find the other bike, then helps me out, then apologises, then offers to fight us, then explains his actions.
You can usually tell the ones that will just attack you, but this guy was getting harder to read by the minute. He got very angry while protecting his actions and seemed to steer the conversation towards him getting angry. Was he doing this so he could just attack us and get it over and done with, I don’t know. I do know that it was freaking me out and I knew that the sooner we got away from him the better.
Finally we agreed to disagree over whether we had a right to be there. We got back on our bikes and rode off.
Looking back this whole episode makes me angry. I’m angry that he pushed me in and I’m angry that I didn’t ‘get my own back’. I feel like I should have gone for him, there were two of us, we could have probably taken him in a fight. And yet, the very fact that he seemed to be steering us towards a fight makes me glad we didn’t do this. As I said, either he knew something we didn’t or he was just plain old fashioned crazy. I don’t know and frankly don’t care. What I do care about is that at the end of the day I only got wet. It could have been a lot worse.
Yeah, my ego got bruised a bit as I feel I should have been more of a ‘man’ and stood up for myself. But then I think about it and realise I would rather be the kind of guy that gets pushed in a canal and laughs about it, than the guy who gets in a fight and brags about it.
So this is me laughing about it. My clothes have been washed and the bikes are safely locked away. Ron and I are unhurt and both back home safely. Am I worried that I might see him again when I go out, yes I am. Is it going to stop me going, no it isn’t.
The thing that really got to me. The one thing that really eats away at me even as I write this, is that when we were parting company, for some bizarre reason we shook hands and left on friendly terms. This has been bugging me all day.
This guy just went out of his way to be mean to me and yet I shook his hand.
For all that I almost despise myself for this. There are two sayings that I hold very close to my heart. The first I got from my dear departed Auntie. It was in the last letter she wrote to me and I run it though me head when I find myself in situations like this.
Don’t wrestle with a pig, the pig enjoys it and you just end up getting dirty.
The second is one that will help me to get over my anger. To stop resenting myself for being who I am.
I don’t think that kindness is a weakness.
Tonight I will mull this 10 minutes over and over in my head, I will think of everything I should have said and everything I would have done. I will be stronger than I am now, I would have won the fight, I would have pushed him in. I would have been the one with a weapon. I should have kicked his stupid dog, I should have pulled him in with me. I should I would I should I would.
Tonight I will mull, I will not sleep, I will boil in my own self righteous heat.
Tomorrow I will see more and more of the funny side. I will realise I have yet another story to tell. I will appreciate that I only got wet when it so easily could have been worse. I will grin when I think of myself wading around in the canal. I will openly smile when I remember thinking I had found the bike and yet pulling up a ten foot long plastic pipe. I will tell it when I am in the pub. I will exaggerate parts and forget others. It will bare only a passing resemblance to the story above, I will laugh when I tell it and the way I tell it shall make others laugh with me. It shall be a story that makes me smile and it shall start;
“Hey, did I ever tell you about that dude who pushed me in a canal?”
21 May 2004
More ways to Wardy.
Google Search: Sammy's Super t-shirt download
Wow, I just love the way that some people find this site.
Hello to the person from Israel, and congratulations on being a fan of Sammy's Super T-Shirt.
Wow, I just love the way that some people find this site.
Hello to the person from Israel, and congratulations on being a fan of Sammy's Super T-Shirt.
20 May 2004
Goths, I just don’t get you.
We are in the middle of the sunniest days we have had in this green and pleasant land for some time now. Yet in the middle of shorts season there are a number of people who seem to be denying the summer. They walk around as if the blazing heat has no effect on them. They wear ‘winter’ clothes when the dark season has passed. They pass by wearing dark, in all seasons.
They are Goths, hear them moan quietly in the corner at a social gathering.
Now I don’t have anything against minority groups of society. I’m all for them. Varied societies are happy societies. It’s not that I don’t like Goths, I just don’t understand them.
At all.
Now as we know, a lack of knowledge can often turn into resentment, which is what I am trying to avoid here. But I witnessed something a few days ago that I just can’t process inside my tiny little ‘acoustic music can be nice’ head.
Imagine the scene. Blazing sun. No clouds. White skinny legs from adolescents are all around. The ice cream van is playing the American national anthem for no real reason, girls in short skirts and boys in white trainers are all around. And then a vampire walks by.
A vampire, in multiple layers of black. Huge knee high PVC boots with 5 buckles on each, black trousers, a black T-shirt with generic ‘death metal band’ logo emblazoned across it, and then the Crème de la Goth, a long black leather jacket ‘Matrix style’.
But this is the bit that gets me, if you are so badly trying to impersonate a vampire, with the white face and ‘blood coming out the mouth’ make up and all. Why would you walk around in the blazing sun at midday??
It just doesn’t add up. It would be like me pretending to be a townie, and then not being a pain in the arse to everyone I meet while I delicately sip on a chilled G’n’T.
If you want to impersonate a vampire, do it properly. This half hearted approach just makes you look like a fool. A fool who is going to sweat A LOT for no real reason other than trying to broke some kind of ‘look at me’ childhood need. I mean, they must have read a vampire book at some point in their life, or at least seen some album cover art with them on. Surely they understand the basic principles of the thing they are trying to impersonate.
So this is why I don’t understand Goths. It seems to boil down to a fashion. And while they are trying to kick out at society with the shock value of what they do. They tie themselves up in knots by becoming so controlled by the way they have to behave; they are no longer ‘anarchists’ and more ‘fashion victims’.
Then again maybe I’m wrong. But I doubt it. After the matrix there was a new flux of Neo-Goths ( an unexpected but frighteningly apt name ) that all had to wear ‘That’ coat and pretend they loved Norwegian metal.
I don’t mind people pretending to be vampires, and I don’t mind the whole Goth scene. But in the same way that I thought everyone that wore a Kappa tracksuit was a loser, and the same way that everyone who wears Burberry caps is a loser, Goths are becoming a parody of themselves.
Goths of the world. If you want to remain as a fringe group then start getting fringy. You are being diluted into yet another Topshop clone. Soon there will be t-shirts from Ted Baker that have ‘Goth’ written across them. When this day comes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
They are Goths, hear them moan quietly in the corner at a social gathering.
Now I don’t have anything against minority groups of society. I’m all for them. Varied societies are happy societies. It’s not that I don’t like Goths, I just don’t understand them.
At all.
Now as we know, a lack of knowledge can often turn into resentment, which is what I am trying to avoid here. But I witnessed something a few days ago that I just can’t process inside my tiny little ‘acoustic music can be nice’ head.
Imagine the scene. Blazing sun. No clouds. White skinny legs from adolescents are all around. The ice cream van is playing the American national anthem for no real reason, girls in short skirts and boys in white trainers are all around. And then a vampire walks by.
A vampire, in multiple layers of black. Huge knee high PVC boots with 5 buckles on each, black trousers, a black T-shirt with generic ‘death metal band’ logo emblazoned across it, and then the Crème de la Goth, a long black leather jacket ‘Matrix style’.
But this is the bit that gets me, if you are so badly trying to impersonate a vampire, with the white face and ‘blood coming out the mouth’ make up and all. Why would you walk around in the blazing sun at midday??
It just doesn’t add up. It would be like me pretending to be a townie, and then not being a pain in the arse to everyone I meet while I delicately sip on a chilled G’n’T.
If you want to impersonate a vampire, do it properly. This half hearted approach just makes you look like a fool. A fool who is going to sweat A LOT for no real reason other than trying to broke some kind of ‘look at me’ childhood need. I mean, they must have read a vampire book at some point in their life, or at least seen some album cover art with them on. Surely they understand the basic principles of the thing they are trying to impersonate.
So this is why I don’t understand Goths. It seems to boil down to a fashion. And while they are trying to kick out at society with the shock value of what they do. They tie themselves up in knots by becoming so controlled by the way they have to behave; they are no longer ‘anarchists’ and more ‘fashion victims’.
Then again maybe I’m wrong. But I doubt it. After the matrix there was a new flux of Neo-Goths ( an unexpected but frighteningly apt name ) that all had to wear ‘That’ coat and pretend they loved Norwegian metal.
I don’t mind people pretending to be vampires, and I don’t mind the whole Goth scene. But in the same way that I thought everyone that wore a Kappa tracksuit was a loser, and the same way that everyone who wears Burberry caps is a loser, Goths are becoming a parody of themselves.
Goths of the world. If you want to remain as a fringe group then start getting fringy. You are being diluted into yet another Topshop clone. Soon there will be t-shirts from Ted Baker that have ‘Goth’ written across them. When this day comes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
19 May 2004
Blog Review.
The Passions Of The Chris
Chris, who has an unfeasible knowledge of children’s television as well as some marginally important stuff to do with building regs, shall now be telling all in his eagerly anticipated third blog. After the success of ‘Chris Actually’ and ‘10 Things To Do In Denver When You’re Chris’, this new blog promises to keep all the charm of the originals while using many of the same anecdotes and jokes.
Written in the broken, disjointed style that has made Hollyoaks so successful, it utilises the freelance spelling made so popular by sites such as Powder Search. Issues ranging from what was eaten for breakfast all the way through to the delights of supper shall be breached, with little regard to offending, or even paying attention to lunch.
While the main revenue of the site comes from advertising, much of the money to pay for the material is brokered from the sale of slightly damaged English China, with a favourable nod towards the ever popular ‘Eternal Beau’ collection.
Although this site is often worrying, it can entertain in an instant with regular quips towards minority groups and those who shop at ‘Holland and Barrat’. This site often surprises with its superficial views towards both independent music retailers and stilt walkers, but this never detracts from colourful writing which can not only pass time in the office, but is equally comfortable being a minor distraction at home or even on the move.
This reviewer would give The Passions Of The Chris four ‘and’ signs dispersed with a ‘pound' sign it could have been higher were it not for the green colour which reminds of a nasty wound, the type of which would keep one from being the lead role in an Amateur Dramatics version of Dudley Moore’s “Arthur”.
Blog Rating: && £ &&
Highlights of this blog: The Archives.
Chris, who has an unfeasible knowledge of children’s television as well as some marginally important stuff to do with building regs, shall now be telling all in his eagerly anticipated third blog. After the success of ‘Chris Actually’ and ‘10 Things To Do In Denver When You’re Chris’, this new blog promises to keep all the charm of the originals while using many of the same anecdotes and jokes.
Written in the broken, disjointed style that has made Hollyoaks so successful, it utilises the freelance spelling made so popular by sites such as Powder Search. Issues ranging from what was eaten for breakfast all the way through to the delights of supper shall be breached, with little regard to offending, or even paying attention to lunch.
While the main revenue of the site comes from advertising, much of the money to pay for the material is brokered from the sale of slightly damaged English China, with a favourable nod towards the ever popular ‘Eternal Beau’ collection.
Although this site is often worrying, it can entertain in an instant with regular quips towards minority groups and those who shop at ‘Holland and Barrat’. This site often surprises with its superficial views towards both independent music retailers and stilt walkers, but this never detracts from colourful writing which can not only pass time in the office, but is equally comfortable being a minor distraction at home or even on the move.
This reviewer would give The Passions Of The Chris four ‘and’ signs dispersed with a ‘pound' sign it could have been higher were it not for the green colour which reminds of a nasty wound, the type of which would keep one from being the lead role in an Amateur Dramatics version of Dudley Moore’s “Arthur”.
Blog Rating: && £ &&
Highlights of this blog: The Archives.
Why we don't like insects.
I have formulated a new theory for why we don’t like insects. This came to me today while I was sat in the garden workin’ ont’ tan. It goes like this; we don’t like insects because they have no respect for personal space. They get everywhere. They get in your tea, in your omelette sandwich and in your revision notes. They buzz close to your face and repeatedly land on your face, arms, legs and stomach. A person would know not to invade this personal space, nor to taint personal belongings. Animals such as dogs can be taught not to constantly invade this personal boundary, even cats can be taught through repeated flicks to the nose, to stay away. Insects however, just don’t get it. They will come as close as they like, land on you, get really really near your eyes, then sit there looking smug. Should you flick the insect away, it will be replaced. You cannot stop insects from being irritating. Mammals can be pushed aside or kept in an enclosure. Insects are free from humans trying to contain and control them. This is why they are not liked. We can do nothing to bend insects to our will. If they want to land in our food, they will. If they want to drink my blood, they will. If they want to fly really really near to my eyes, – and I have a thing about my eyes being close to anything other than sunglasses – they will.
Insects are uncontrollable, and this annoys people. There is no ‘pop up blocker’ for insects. We cannot turn them off, turn them over or change our personal settings to get rid of them. Insects will go where they please, when they please and heaven forbid we should get in the way. We can’t even kill them, it brings such short-lived respite from their relentless presence that you just have to sit down and try and appreciate them.
So next time I’m in the garden appreciate them I will. And if they doesn’t work I’m going to get a family size bottle of Raid and have me a hoe down.
Insects are uncontrollable, and this annoys people. There is no ‘pop up blocker’ for insects. We cannot turn them off, turn them over or change our personal settings to get rid of them. Insects will go where they please, when they please and heaven forbid we should get in the way. We can’t even kill them, it brings such short-lived respite from their relentless presence that you just have to sit down and try and appreciate them.
So next time I’m in the garden appreciate them I will. And if they doesn’t work I’m going to get a family size bottle of Raid and have me a hoe down.
18 May 2004
For Donna
To feed your obsession.
I can't pretend that I watched this all the way through becuase it's way too boring. However, seing as you 'Love The Yak' so to speak, I present you with this educational video.
I can't pretend that I watched this all the way through becuase it's way too boring. However, seing as you 'Love The Yak' so to speak, I present you with this educational video.
Fall From Grace.
For those of you who remember Maid Marrian and Her Merry Men, then I’m sure thinking of this show brings back fond memories of the Nasty Sheriff and the hunk of beauty that was Rabies. – and wasn’t Rabies In Love the best song every in a kids show! - Now however, you can relive those days of childhood glee by simply watching adverts. That’s right, Robin is back on telly. Not in his usual, floppy haired, bit stupid, physical comedy role that we came to love him in. But in the new Cura-Heat advert. Yep, that’s right, take note next time this is on because I assure you children of my time, it is the ledged that is. . . Robin of the Hood.
Tomorrow I’m going to put the kitchen table in the garden and work out there. I’m going to try and get rid of the ‘forearm only’ tan that is all the rage at the mo. So wearing shorts and little else I shall continue trying to remember Journal articles so I can regurgitate them a week on Friday. Hopefully not only will this help me develop a proper tan but I will also be able to take my little fridge outside and pretend that it’s a cool little vending machine.
Summer, as well as being the time that I wear shorts around the house, also seems to make good looking women crop up from the woodwork. I don’t know if they just hide their looks during the winter but there has been a definite increase in number of attractive women walking around. Hopefully once I have burnt, peeled, healed and browned I will be able to get my chicken legs out the house and try dancing with some of them. Although if you had seen my dance you would agree that chicken legs are the least of my problems.
Been reading a lot about the Berg killing recently. There seems to be a whole load of discrepancies with the videos. I don’t know if these are just the normal reaction to what is a very provocative story or if they do hold some truth in them. Makes for an interesting read though. I’m still not sure which way I swing on this. However, the one that got me was the lack of blood when he was beheaded. However, housemates who have watched other videos of people being beheaded – and yes, they are out there and not that hard to find – say that there weren’t mountains of blood in these either. Maybe they are all fakes, maybe people were expecting ‘Kill Bill’ gushes, whatever way it swings I reckon if they were faked, they would have done a better job of hiding it. Not even the US government can be dumb enough to release tapes so controversial with so little attention to detail.
Tomorrow I’m going to put the kitchen table in the garden and work out there. I’m going to try and get rid of the ‘forearm only’ tan that is all the rage at the mo. So wearing shorts and little else I shall continue trying to remember Journal articles so I can regurgitate them a week on Friday. Hopefully not only will this help me develop a proper tan but I will also be able to take my little fridge outside and pretend that it’s a cool little vending machine.
Summer, as well as being the time that I wear shorts around the house, also seems to make good looking women crop up from the woodwork. I don’t know if they just hide their looks during the winter but there has been a definite increase in number of attractive women walking around. Hopefully once I have burnt, peeled, healed and browned I will be able to get my chicken legs out the house and try dancing with some of them. Although if you had seen my dance you would agree that chicken legs are the least of my problems.
Been reading a lot about the Berg killing recently. There seems to be a whole load of discrepancies with the videos. I don’t know if these are just the normal reaction to what is a very provocative story or if they do hold some truth in them. Makes for an interesting read though. I’m still not sure which way I swing on this. However, the one that got me was the lack of blood when he was beheaded. However, housemates who have watched other videos of people being beheaded – and yes, they are out there and not that hard to find – say that there weren’t mountains of blood in these either. Maybe they are all fakes, maybe people were expecting ‘Kill Bill’ gushes, whatever way it swings I reckon if they were faked, they would have done a better job of hiding it. Not even the US government can be dumb enough to release tapes so controversial with so little attention to detail.
17 May 2004
Sun, Sasser and Soft Systems Methodology.
Sat in the Cathedral ruins revising today and I made a new friend. In fact, I made about 15 of them as I was accosted by a group of primary school children who were on a ‘fact finding’ mission of some sorts. It all started when we shouted out the answer to the game of charades they were playing because the little kids were being painfully slow in getting to the right answer – which was ‘Garfield The Movie’ for those who are interested – they then went on to quiz us about who we were, what school we were at, where we came from, what football team we supported and so on. Then when I revealed that I was a Northerner I got the most unexpected of questions “Is it true that northern boys love gravy???”
Hmmm, well I am partial to a bit of chicken and onion so I guess I do.
Had to go home after lunch though as it was too sunny for a whole day in the sun, burning on the first warm day is neither cool nor sophisticated.
Now summer is round the corner I’m guessing the buskers will be out in force. Lets just hope they’re all as good as this guy.
I spent the majority of the past 2 nights trying to fix a computer of the dreaded Sasser Worm. Unfortunately it wouldn’t stay on long enough to download and run the patch to get rid of it. And the computer didn’t have any anti-virus software on it so wouldn’t stay on long enough to download that either. Suffice to say, after scratching my head and finally using a different computer to work out how to get rid of it, I am now two bottles of delicious red wine better off.
That was a truthful but albeit tenuous way to get to my next link. I know it’s only advertising a company but if one day all computers were this sweet to work with then we could relish living with obesity for a little while longer.
(Soft Systems Methodology is what I was revising today, needed another 'S' and it's too hot to be original)
Hmmm, well I am partial to a bit of chicken and onion so I guess I do.
Had to go home after lunch though as it was too sunny for a whole day in the sun, burning on the first warm day is neither cool nor sophisticated.
Now summer is round the corner I’m guessing the buskers will be out in force. Lets just hope they’re all as good as this guy.
I spent the majority of the past 2 nights trying to fix a computer of the dreaded Sasser Worm. Unfortunately it wouldn’t stay on long enough to download and run the patch to get rid of it. And the computer didn’t have any anti-virus software on it so wouldn’t stay on long enough to download that either. Suffice to say, after scratching my head and finally using a different computer to work out how to get rid of it, I am now two bottles of delicious red wine better off.
That was a truthful but albeit tenuous way to get to my next link. I know it’s only advertising a company but if one day all computers were this sweet to work with then we could relish living with obesity for a little while longer.
(Soft Systems Methodology is what I was revising today, needed another 'S' and it's too hot to be original)
Yahoo! ???? - Numb Nut
Yahoo! ???? - Numb Nut
Check out number 6. Some guy from Hong Kong got to my site through this.
Chances he'll be back. . . close to nil.
Check out number 6. Some guy from Hong Kong got to my site through this.
Chances he'll be back. . . close to nil.
16 May 2004
Back from the brink.
Hey people. I know it’s been a while since I last posted by my exams aren’t going to pass themselves so I’ve had to devote a bit of time to something other than sitting at my computer.
Luckily for you, today was Sunday so I spent a good 3 hours making sure I wasn’t getting left behind by the world and made full use of my broadband.
I helped to build and Oxfam Water Tank this week. It was so much easier than I thought it would be. It took us less than 2 hours to unpack – build – take down – repack. Considering I thought we would be at it all afternoon it was a pleasant surprise.
Have you ever been listening to Metallica tracks and thought, “Well Metallica are a good band, but The Beatles were marginally more successful. If only Metallica could tap into some of this magic they could become more than they are now.” Obviously you have thought this, it was crazy of me to presume otherwise, and thanks to the wonder of the capitalist regime we now have more time on our hands to pursue something other than the food on our table. Raise a fist in the air and give thanks that the open market brings us such wonders as this.
And so, from one musical talent to another. From the screaming guitars of heavy metal a new king is born. A versatile king, a king on a keyboard. If you are under 30, male and have ever enjoyed computer games then you will get this. If you are over 30, female or actively shunned computers games in favour of programming, reading or anything to do with fresh air, then you will just have to tap your foot along to the nice tune.
Luckily for you, today was Sunday so I spent a good 3 hours making sure I wasn’t getting left behind by the world and made full use of my broadband.
I helped to build and Oxfam Water Tank this week. It was so much easier than I thought it would be. It took us less than 2 hours to unpack – build – take down – repack. Considering I thought we would be at it all afternoon it was a pleasant surprise.
Have you ever been listening to Metallica tracks and thought, “Well Metallica are a good band, but The Beatles were marginally more successful. If only Metallica could tap into some of this magic they could become more than they are now.” Obviously you have thought this, it was crazy of me to presume otherwise, and thanks to the wonder of the capitalist regime we now have more time on our hands to pursue something other than the food on our table. Raise a fist in the air and give thanks that the open market brings us such wonders as this.
And so, from one musical talent to another. From the screaming guitars of heavy metal a new king is born. A versatile king, a king on a keyboard. If you are under 30, male and have ever enjoyed computer games then you will get this. If you are over 30, female or actively shunned computers games in favour of programming, reading or anything to do with fresh air, then you will just have to tap your foot along to the nice tune.
10 May 2004
Walking at night.
Sometimes you never know if the person you are talking to is very subtly taking the piss out of you, or being complementary, but in an area of your life that you would not think warranted such praise. Tonight was such a night. From the person whom I was conversing with I will guess that they were being complementary.
Sometimes it really is the little things in life that you think go unnoticed, that come back and hug you.
As I walked home tonight the city was transformed from the harsh angular environment that I have come to know, into some cloudy soft expedition.
We had big thunderstorms today. At lunch time people were sitting on the grass trying to get a tan, then three hours later we were deluged with thunder, lightning and hail. Tonight the remnant of the storm manifested itself as a thick fog that only revealed a section of the city at a time as you walked through. And for some reason – and I really don’t think I was making this up – there was a smell of burnt wood in the air. It took me back to when I was a kid walking through the woods while on camp. The smell of the fire, the eerie fog and a common environment revealed slowly to you as you advance.
Whether the smell of burning wood made me remember, or whether me remembering made me think of burnt wood I will never know. However, there is something at looking at the world in a way in which you cannot instantly take it for granted, that makes you re-evaluate the environment in which you live.
The walk home tonight was unexpected, but not unwelcome.
Sometimes it really is the little things in life that you think go unnoticed, that come back and hug you.
As I walked home tonight the city was transformed from the harsh angular environment that I have come to know, into some cloudy soft expedition.
We had big thunderstorms today. At lunch time people were sitting on the grass trying to get a tan, then three hours later we were deluged with thunder, lightning and hail. Tonight the remnant of the storm manifested itself as a thick fog that only revealed a section of the city at a time as you walked through. And for some reason – and I really don’t think I was making this up – there was a smell of burnt wood in the air. It took me back to when I was a kid walking through the woods while on camp. The smell of the fire, the eerie fog and a common environment revealed slowly to you as you advance.
Whether the smell of burning wood made me remember, or whether me remembering made me think of burnt wood I will never know. However, there is something at looking at the world in a way in which you cannot instantly take it for granted, that makes you re-evaluate the environment in which you live.
The walk home tonight was unexpected, but not unwelcome.
09 May 2004
I’m bathed in red light.
The bulbs went in my room. Both my halogen bulb in the desk light and the normal light have blown. I had to change my desktop to plain white and use my monitor as the main light source in my room. I decided I'd go for something a bit different so while I was buying normal light bulbs I thought I’d get some red ones as well. It was meant to be a bit of fun and make my room look all ‘moody’. Unfortunately because they are only 40 watt it just looks crap. It makes my room look poorly. It makes me look poorly. It is difficult to get a sense of time at night.
And I know this last one seems odd, but as the sun slowly went down and I was left in the red glow of my bulb, the normal passage of time seemed different. I put this down to our body clock being controlled by the presence of ‘white light’ to tell us when it’s night and day. However, bathe yourself in red light for a day and you seem to lose out on this. Kinda weird, but also cool. It could also be the only real time that I can call something I’ve written on here an ‘investigation’. Although I didn’t really investigate anything at all, it just happened.
Oh well, such is the fickle way of science!
Tomorrow I hand in the last piece of coursework I shall ever write. It is called ‘The Value Of Security Council Resolution 1502’. I shall hand it in and be happy. I shall not mourn the passing of coursework.
And I know this last one seems odd, but as the sun slowly went down and I was left in the red glow of my bulb, the normal passage of time seemed different. I put this down to our body clock being controlled by the presence of ‘white light’ to tell us when it’s night and day. However, bathe yourself in red light for a day and you seem to lose out on this. Kinda weird, but also cool. It could also be the only real time that I can call something I’ve written on here an ‘investigation’. Although I didn’t really investigate anything at all, it just happened.
Oh well, such is the fickle way of science!
Tomorrow I hand in the last piece of coursework I shall ever write. It is called ‘The Value Of Security Council Resolution 1502’. I shall hand it in and be happy. I shall not mourn the passing of coursework.
07 May 2004
I could have helped.
I’m sat in the computer room in my school and have just been subjected to two guys sat in front of my swearing loudly, talking loudly on phones and punching the desk to pieces. Why? Because it’s dissertation time and the numb nut on the right couldn’t get his work to save onto disk.
“It says the disk is full. . . . how can it be, there’s only one thing on it!!”
So they sat there, swearing, phoning, hitting and generally being a pain in the arse. I was going to go over and offer my support, to help them through this obviously stressful time with a few ‘computer tips’ but I thought hey, if they are the type of people that come in to the computer room to blow off steam and ruin the day for everyone else who is trying to get their work done, then they can suffer.
Eventually the numb nut on the left points out that the file size might be too big for the disk. So numb nut on the right goes and buys a rewriteable CD. He then somehow manages to not be able to save the work onto this either. I wanted to laugh, but instead I wrote this.
They have left now. The room is quite. People are once again working and the numb nuts are probably scratching their heads and trying to figure out what they will do next.
During this time the whole room was also subjected to numb nuts on the left make another date with some girl he met the previous week. Judging from conversation they will have a short and unhappy relationship maybe lasting into the three week period.
The sun is out. I just sat on the grass bank outside my school and ate lunch with some friends. Soon all this will end. I never thought I would miss sitting by a road, eating lunch in the sun so much. But as I drank my milk (how retro is that) it dawned on me that it really is these little things that make being at uni so good. I mean, yeah, there’s the nights at the bar, and these are cool, but after the first year there is nothing new to do. Sometimes you just feel like you’re going through the motions. But sat in the sun with friends, just hanging out and chatting. These are the things I will miss.
That, and eating chocolate custard and wheatabix for a main meal. Topped with cruncy nut cornflakes and grapenuts. ohh yeah.
“It says the disk is full. . . . how can it be, there’s only one thing on it!!”
So they sat there, swearing, phoning, hitting and generally being a pain in the arse. I was going to go over and offer my support, to help them through this obviously stressful time with a few ‘computer tips’ but I thought hey, if they are the type of people that come in to the computer room to blow off steam and ruin the day for everyone else who is trying to get their work done, then they can suffer.
Eventually the numb nut on the left points out that the file size might be too big for the disk. So numb nut on the right goes and buys a rewriteable CD. He then somehow manages to not be able to save the work onto this either. I wanted to laugh, but instead I wrote this.
They have left now. The room is quite. People are once again working and the numb nuts are probably scratching their heads and trying to figure out what they will do next.
During this time the whole room was also subjected to numb nuts on the left make another date with some girl he met the previous week. Judging from conversation they will have a short and unhappy relationship maybe lasting into the three week period.
The sun is out. I just sat on the grass bank outside my school and ate lunch with some friends. Soon all this will end. I never thought I would miss sitting by a road, eating lunch in the sun so much. But as I drank my milk (how retro is that) it dawned on me that it really is these little things that make being at uni so good. I mean, yeah, there’s the nights at the bar, and these are cool, but after the first year there is nothing new to do. Sometimes you just feel like you’re going through the motions. But sat in the sun with friends, just hanging out and chatting. These are the things I will miss.
That, and eating chocolate custard and wheatabix for a main meal. Topped with cruncy nut cornflakes and grapenuts. ohh yeah.
Hey Hey 16k
This is so true it hurts. The best part about this, is that I remember most of the games. Long live the glory days of gaming.
05 May 2004
Speakers are the greatest invention ever.
The highlight of the week so far has been visiting a sewage farm for my degree. It started off a bit kooky ‘cant believe I’m actually visiting a sewage farm’ quickly got boring ‘this place smells of shit! ’ and ‘Have you dropped one?!?!’ then just led onto the plain bizarre ‘we have a Japanese rose garden to attract wildlife as otherwise it would all be dead in a hundred years due to climate change’ . . . So what with the tedium of people who are more than old enough to know better making poo joke after poo joke and laughing about it every time, combined with wildly inaccurate facts, the day just dragged a bit.
I lie, the day would have been bearable, the jokes. . . sorry. . joke, dragged.
Ever watched a wasp that has been trapped inside for about a week really slowly fly towards the window time after time as it slowly gives way to death.
That was what my lecture this morning was like. I left after an hour, the pain was too much. The blatant disregard for my education was evident in the lack of both preparation and enthusiasm from the lecturer. The people next to me played hangman, I drew shapes that linked together without actually touching and then filled them in, as people are wont to do when bored.
Then tonight, I listened to music for about 4 hours straight. I went through every track I have that brings back memories of being younger. Some of them were depressing, but in that really nice way when you kick back and remember what you were in fuzzy memory vision. I like these the best. Some songs bring back vague memories or times, but the ones where you have distinct pictures really let you live in the past for a while. The only problem with these songs is that they end. If I could make them go on and on until my need to relive times gone by is complete, that would be ace. As it is, I get 4 minute snippets of my past.
Some people have photograph albums, I have a playlist.
I lie, the day would have been bearable, the jokes. . . sorry. . joke, dragged.
Ever watched a wasp that has been trapped inside for about a week really slowly fly towards the window time after time as it slowly gives way to death.
That was what my lecture this morning was like. I left after an hour, the pain was too much. The blatant disregard for my education was evident in the lack of both preparation and enthusiasm from the lecturer. The people next to me played hangman, I drew shapes that linked together without actually touching and then filled them in, as people are wont to do when bored.
Then tonight, I listened to music for about 4 hours straight. I went through every track I have that brings back memories of being younger. Some of them were depressing, but in that really nice way when you kick back and remember what you were in fuzzy memory vision. I like these the best. Some songs bring back vague memories or times, but the ones where you have distinct pictures really let you live in the past for a while. The only problem with these songs is that they end. If I could make them go on and on until my need to relive times gone by is complete, that would be ace. As it is, I get 4 minute snippets of my past.
Some people have photograph albums, I have a playlist.
02 May 2004
Baldrick's plans come to life.
Women have always found a way to help during a war. Be it cutting thinner slices of bread, growing veg or balloting endlessly for the right to beat the shit out of the enemy like the guys do, the fairer sex have been there on the front lines with us in one way or another. As the years go by and the world changes, then women start playing a different role in our war effort, one that requires no less effort and where the results are a lot more obvious, and immediate.
Women of America, putting the Privates back in to the Army.
Remember kids, expressing yourself, in anyway whatsoever that is out of line with the “official stance” is wrong. Heaven forbid you should have a view on the world at such a young age. Heavy handed tactics are in order to make you more patriotic.
I cannot express how much this story makes me pity those who can’t see the war for the Arabs.
I have been thinking of a way to link to this next piece of worldly knowledge, and yet I can find no words within my ‘clean’ vocabulary to express my feelings. I thought about using some ‘class B’ swears, but felt I would just be throwing them in for the sake of it. Not only would these rather tame swears not come close to the emotion this builds within me, it would also somehow detract from the subject matter. Subject matter which is as worthy of being taken seriously as any I have know. People, I managed to bring you this without being vulgar, and this took more restraint then you may release. *shakes head, looks away from monitor, sighs, and continues with life*
Women of America, putting the Privates back in to the Army.
Remember kids, expressing yourself, in anyway whatsoever that is out of line with the “official stance” is wrong. Heaven forbid you should have a view on the world at such a young age. Heavy handed tactics are in order to make you more patriotic.
I cannot express how much this story makes me pity those who can’t see the war for the Arabs.
I have been thinking of a way to link to this next piece of worldly knowledge, and yet I can find no words within my ‘clean’ vocabulary to express my feelings. I thought about using some ‘class B’ swears, but felt I would just be throwing them in for the sake of it. Not only would these rather tame swears not come close to the emotion this builds within me, it would also somehow detract from the subject matter. Subject matter which is as worthy of being taken seriously as any I have know. People, I managed to bring you this without being vulgar, and this took more restraint then you may release. *shakes head, looks away from monitor, sighs, and continues with life*
No links, just confusion.
Confusion.
I saw a guy come out of a newsagent today and hide something inside his copy of the “Daily Sport”. Now as you usually hide your copy of Daily Sport inside something this struck me as odd. What made this even odder is what he hid inside the Daily Sport.
It was porn. ( something Tits, couldn’t make the whole title out, sorry)
Now, along with a feeling of oddness, I had another feeling, that of confusion.
Why would you hide porn inside the Daily Sport, and why would you buy the Daily Sport if you were also buying porn. It just doesn’t make sense, it’s like trying to hide your wish to be cool by having a ‘mullet’!
Unless, of course he bought the Daily Sport to actually read it!!!, hah, no way. So this guy must have actually been the kind of bloke that believes he has some sort of standing in society by reading a paper – and I use the term lightly here when referring to the Daily Sport – and didn’t want to tarnish this reputation by openly admitting he bought porn, and so hid it in the offending paper.
Amazing.
I saw a guy come out of a newsagent today and hide something inside his copy of the “Daily Sport”. Now as you usually hide your copy of Daily Sport inside something this struck me as odd. What made this even odder is what he hid inside the Daily Sport.
It was porn. ( something Tits, couldn’t make the whole title out, sorry)
Now, along with a feeling of oddness, I had another feeling, that of confusion.
Why would you hide porn inside the Daily Sport, and why would you buy the Daily Sport if you were also buying porn. It just doesn’t make sense, it’s like trying to hide your wish to be cool by having a ‘mullet’!
Unless, of course he bought the Daily Sport to actually read it!!!, hah, no way. So this guy must have actually been the kind of bloke that believes he has some sort of standing in society by reading a paper – and I use the term lightly here when referring to the Daily Sport – and didn’t want to tarnish this reputation by openly admitting he bought porn, and so hid it in the offending paper.
Amazing.
29 April 2004
Short yet undeniably sweet.
Apologies for the lack of updating. Been crazily busy. Reading dissertations, finding kick ass places to go mountain biking and, oh yeah, getting ready for the exam type things I have coming up.
I promise when I have a spare bit of time I’ll post properly.
Until then, if you have ever, like me, been sitting in a park when all of a sudden a squirrel comes running right up to you, climbs up your leg and sits on your lap. Then proceeds to take crisps from the bag you were eating and scoff them right there in front of you. While this is happening a tourist walks past and starts taking photos and giving you commands in some language you don’t understand until finally the blank expression on your face gets through to him and he walks away. If this, like me, has happened to you, you have probably wondered what the cockpit of Concord looks like.
I promise when I have a spare bit of time I’ll post properly.
Until then, if you have ever, like me, been sitting in a park when all of a sudden a squirrel comes running right up to you, climbs up your leg and sits on your lap. Then proceeds to take crisps from the bag you were eating and scoff them right there in front of you. While this is happening a tourist walks past and starts taking photos and giving you commands in some language you don’t understand until finally the blank expression on your face gets through to him and he walks away. If this, like me, has happened to you, you have probably wondered what the cockpit of Concord looks like.
27 April 2004
Sliding.
Used to be so easy as a kid. You just run real fast, then jump and put your feet a bit in front of you.
It was easy, you could do it on ice, lino, wet leaves, wet lino, grass, mud, muddy lino and wet muddy ice. Sliding used to be cool , it used to be fun, it used to make me smile.
Then I got to university. Now when I think of sliding, I think of some stupid weir in some dusty country that I’ve just engineered and wonder if my calculations are right.
Do I grin when I do this? No.
Can I put on my ‘light up’ LA Gear, and go run in the park, in the rain. . . in shorts!!!? No.
Do I wanna go to the pub, forget about some stupid flimsy – ooops my weir has been washed away – maths problem?? Yes.
However, the call of the wild – and by this I mean the dull throb at the back of my head that tells me to keep trying – will not allow me.
Alas, I shall engineer this weir, and be a better person for it.
Crackheads, everybody hates them. And this is why.
Living in a democracy is brilliant. It allows free speech, freedom for all and a platform on which debate leads to decisions. America, home of democracy; protector, enforcer and sometimes induced of democracy; would surly hold its head up and proclaim in loud clear voice that as far as democracy goes, America has it nailed. And you know what, as far as websites like this one go, I can’t really complain too much. This is democracy at its finest, its most pure, its most delightful extreme.
Turning our attention to something a little more serious for a moment. The War. I don’t mean the Coke war here, taste tests have already ruled that one out. I’m talking about the pre-emptive war that we are currently holding against Iraq. ( hey peeps, it’s a good job India and Pakistan haven’t gotten wind of this pre-emptive strike thing or we could have real problems on our hands!)
The war is not smart reporters stood in front of buildings wearing clean pressed shirts. It is not a ‘body count’, it is war, people going out of their way to kill each other. I’m not getting all hippy here but when a war changes from soldiers shooting at each other to civilians becoming targets then my back starts to get up.
This is neither the time nor the place for me to get on my high horse about war, but I do think it is necessary once in a while to remind ourselves what is happening over there. Dead people lying in streets, children injured, pools of blood and fire. This is war. I’m not holding judgement on this war, I’m holding judgement on all wars. We should be better than this.
It was easy, you could do it on ice, lino, wet leaves, wet lino, grass, mud, muddy lino and wet muddy ice. Sliding used to be cool , it used to be fun, it used to make me smile.
Then I got to university. Now when I think of sliding, I think of some stupid weir in some dusty country that I’ve just engineered and wonder if my calculations are right.
Do I grin when I do this? No.
Can I put on my ‘light up’ LA Gear, and go run in the park, in the rain. . . in shorts!!!? No.
Do I wanna go to the pub, forget about some stupid flimsy – ooops my weir has been washed away – maths problem?? Yes.
However, the call of the wild – and by this I mean the dull throb at the back of my head that tells me to keep trying – will not allow me.
Alas, I shall engineer this weir, and be a better person for it.
Crackheads, everybody hates them. And this is why.
Living in a democracy is brilliant. It allows free speech, freedom for all and a platform on which debate leads to decisions. America, home of democracy; protector, enforcer and sometimes induced of democracy; would surly hold its head up and proclaim in loud clear voice that as far as democracy goes, America has it nailed. And you know what, as far as websites like this one go, I can’t really complain too much. This is democracy at its finest, its most pure, its most delightful extreme.
Turning our attention to something a little more serious for a moment. The War. I don’t mean the Coke war here, taste tests have already ruled that one out. I’m talking about the pre-emptive war that we are currently holding against Iraq. ( hey peeps, it’s a good job India and Pakistan haven’t gotten wind of this pre-emptive strike thing or we could have real problems on our hands!)
The war is not smart reporters stood in front of buildings wearing clean pressed shirts. It is not a ‘body count’, it is war, people going out of their way to kill each other. I’m not getting all hippy here but when a war changes from soldiers shooting at each other to civilians becoming targets then my back starts to get up.
This is neither the time nor the place for me to get on my high horse about war, but I do think it is necessary once in a while to remind ourselves what is happening over there. Dead people lying in streets, children injured, pools of blood and fire. This is war. I’m not holding judgement on this war, I’m holding judgement on all wars. We should be better than this.
26 April 2004
Warm enough to boil a monkeys bum your honour.
I’m almost entirely sure that the hotter it gets, the slower time passes. Hot days just seem to last forever, some days it’s because you are just chilling out in a park with friends, and others, like today, it is because you are in a little room at the top of a house and it is all but impossible to cool down. Either way, I like it.
I had a very humbling moment today when I realised that my pc is now so old, it wont even run some screensavers. This is – I hate to admit – a little embarrassing. However I bought a trifle for dinner today and failed to eat it all in one sitting, so the level of shame in my life is at an all time high!!
Sometimes you find something, and you really feel like you should understand it. That you should get the joke and be ‘in’ with the crowd. Yet, I read this, and just felt like I was on the outside looking in. This is probably a good thing.
Revision is upon us. Friends cease to talk, washing ceases to be washed. Stress levels rise, coffee is brewed and weekends become a blur of tension release, late mornings and constant evaluation of how much you know compared to how much you should know.
6 weeks until my life starts, 6 weeks until I have to grow up and become responsible, 6 weeks until my parents stop buying me food for fear I will starve to death and start charging me for the food I eat.
So soon I have to decide how I’m going to earn my way in the world. Will I get an office job, will I be ‘head python catcher’ for a game park or . . . hope upon hope. . . will I land a job like this.
I had a very humbling moment today when I realised that my pc is now so old, it wont even run some screensavers. This is – I hate to admit – a little embarrassing. However I bought a trifle for dinner today and failed to eat it all in one sitting, so the level of shame in my life is at an all time high!!
Sometimes you find something, and you really feel like you should understand it. That you should get the joke and be ‘in’ with the crowd. Yet, I read this, and just felt like I was on the outside looking in. This is probably a good thing.
Revision is upon us. Friends cease to talk, washing ceases to be washed. Stress levels rise, coffee is brewed and weekends become a blur of tension release, late mornings and constant evaluation of how much you know compared to how much you should know.
6 weeks until my life starts, 6 weeks until I have to grow up and become responsible, 6 weeks until my parents stop buying me food for fear I will starve to death and start charging me for the food I eat.
So soon I have to decide how I’m going to earn my way in the world. Will I get an office job, will I be ‘head python catcher’ for a game park or . . . hope upon hope. . . will I land a job like this.
25 April 2004
A quartet of errors.
So there we were, setting off once again on our early morning cycle. ( yeah yeah, I know, I seem to go over the same stories again and again!!)
Predictably, I got a puncture. We stopped and fixed the puncture.
15 meters down the road. Ron gets a puncture. We assume these happened at the same time and while I was fixing mine, his tyre had chance to deflate.
Then, not 5km further on and lo and behold, we have puncture number three.
Punctures thrice. 3 is the number of punctures. 2 is not enough and 4 is just plain wrong.
So we figure we have blatantly had our run of bad luck for the day. We keep on going and get to a lovely little pub. There are hump back bridges and a lock, it’s all very quaint. Then, and would you believe it. Puncture number 4 looms its ugly head. We have only gone 6 miles, and 4 punctures; it’s just plain crazy.
After fixing number 4, and subsequently running out of puncture repair patches, we decide to head home for fear of having to push. AGAIN!
Stopped off at Halfords on the way home to check out some Kevlar reinforced tyres, they didn’t have any in but I managed to find some on the net, so hopefully these melancholy days of fixing bikes by the side of canals will be behind me.
I don’t know why but I’ve noticed that in hot weather my hair goes even more curly than normal. This causes a great deal of anxiety in me as I’m not particularity fond of my curls as it is. Although they have often been described as ‘endearing’ and ‘cute’ I don’t believe either of these. Yeah yeah, some people pay a lot of money for curls yadda yadda, great, good for them, tell you what, lets swap and then we’ll all be happy.
Man, if only there was some way I could design my own hair, that would rule.
I leave you with this article. It’s getting late and my bullshit detector went off so I haven’t read it all yet, however, from the bit I did catch, it sounds like another unhelpful article on a serious issue which uses minimum – and bad! – referencing to convey a wholly inaccurate message.
Then again, I haven’t read it yet, so I’m as bad as the author for jumping to conclusions without doing my research!
Predictably, I got a puncture. We stopped and fixed the puncture.
15 meters down the road. Ron gets a puncture. We assume these happened at the same time and while I was fixing mine, his tyre had chance to deflate.
Then, not 5km further on and lo and behold, we have puncture number three.
Punctures thrice. 3 is the number of punctures. 2 is not enough and 4 is just plain wrong.
So we figure we have blatantly had our run of bad luck for the day. We keep on going and get to a lovely little pub. There are hump back bridges and a lock, it’s all very quaint. Then, and would you believe it. Puncture number 4 looms its ugly head. We have only gone 6 miles, and 4 punctures; it’s just plain crazy.
After fixing number 4, and subsequently running out of puncture repair patches, we decide to head home for fear of having to push. AGAIN!
Stopped off at Halfords on the way home to check out some Kevlar reinforced tyres, they didn’t have any in but I managed to find some on the net, so hopefully these melancholy days of fixing bikes by the side of canals will be behind me.
I don’t know why but I’ve noticed that in hot weather my hair goes even more curly than normal. This causes a great deal of anxiety in me as I’m not particularity fond of my curls as it is. Although they have often been described as ‘endearing’ and ‘cute’ I don’t believe either of these. Yeah yeah, some people pay a lot of money for curls yadda yadda, great, good for them, tell you what, lets swap and then we’ll all be happy.
Man, if only there was some way I could design my own hair, that would rule.
I leave you with this article. It’s getting late and my bullshit detector went off so I haven’t read it all yet, however, from the bit I did catch, it sounds like another unhelpful article on a serious issue which uses minimum – and bad! – referencing to convey a wholly inaccurate message.
Then again, I haven’t read it yet, so I’m as bad as the author for jumping to conclusions without doing my research!
24 April 2004
Too Easily Satisfied.
Hey everyone, you have to go and check out Coqui, she had the grace to link to this site so I thought I’d repay the favour. Quality photographs and a mighty fine read if I do say so myself.
22 April 2004
A good book, a bad car and a common myth.
I wanted to post a dark and depressing blog today. I’ve been reading for the past week one of the best books I’ve ever had the pleasure of finding. It’s called Another Day In Paradise and is a straightforward account of aid work from the people that have done it. Compelling, sometimes disturbing reading.
When I haven’t been reading that I’ve been researching war, civil war, death, destruction and gloom.
However, I’m not going to go on about it for two posts in a row cause not only will you get bored, I’ll depress myself. So instead we should all play this game. It’s so simply addictive that you have to love it.
Remember the post about modding cars, remember how I said you should start with a good car. Well I could have eaten my words today when I witnessed the rolling atrocity that was a ‘beefed up’ TVR Tuscan Speed 6.
I stared. I had to. It was compelling. What was he thinking? WHY would you spend all that money and then just ruin it like that. I was staring so hard that when he pulled away from the lights he gave me a nod. Somewhere, a tear was shed.
Sometimes you read something and just refuse to believe its true. I mean, I don’t mind them not liking the song but saying these. . . things. . .about it is just rude. Although I don’t agree with a lot of the list so I suppose we are probably approaching it from different angles.
I love this though.
I’ve got to go brave the cold now as I’m at the library, the sun went in hours ago and I’m only wearing a t shirt!!!
When I haven’t been reading that I’ve been researching war, civil war, death, destruction and gloom.
However, I’m not going to go on about it for two posts in a row cause not only will you get bored, I’ll depress myself. So instead we should all play this game. It’s so simply addictive that you have to love it.
Remember the post about modding cars, remember how I said you should start with a good car. Well I could have eaten my words today when I witnessed the rolling atrocity that was a ‘beefed up’ TVR Tuscan Speed 6.
I stared. I had to. It was compelling. What was he thinking? WHY would you spend all that money and then just ruin it like that. I was staring so hard that when he pulled away from the lights he gave me a nod. Somewhere, a tear was shed.
Sometimes you read something and just refuse to believe its true. I mean, I don’t mind them not liking the song but saying these. . . things. . .about it is just rude. Although I don’t agree with a lot of the list so I suppose we are probably approaching it from different angles.
I love this though.
I’ve got to go brave the cold now as I’m at the library, the sun went in hours ago and I’m only wearing a t shirt!!!
20 April 2004
It's not all about cheap goods.
It’s funny how one minute you can be broadening your horizons, learning new things and gaining a new perspective on how the future might be. Then the next you’re just back to staring at a pc screen and wondering where the morning went.
This kind of hypnotic lull often reminds me of another form of mind-bending phenomena.
.
.
Hypnotism.
.
.
Never done it myself but I saw it at a pub once and it looks kinda freaky.
Are Nigerians secretly hypnotising themselves to search for more interesting ways to earn money? Have they finally broken free of the shackles of the West, or have they just been smoking too much opium?
I was speaking to a lecturer today about how easy we find it in the West to exploit Africa. Every day we make decisions in our lives which have a detrimental effect on people in another country. Most of the time we even know that there are alternatives but we choose not to follow them. Fair Trade products are available in most large supermarkets and yet they make up only a small percentage of sales. People see that they are Fair Trade, and just don’t bother. We have become so comfortable that we are almost blasé about other people. They are not around us, we can not see the suffering, they are not dieing on our doorstep and we do not have to watch them bury their babies. We spend money on fancy gadgets when that same money could help inoculate children against disease, we buy ‘luxury’ items while others go through a day with only a handful of rice.
Everyone does it, regardless of how much you may think you don’t. Think about all the money you have spent in the last month on ‘stuff’ that you don’t really need. Ever thought about giving that money to charity instead??
I’m not saying you are a bad person, just that we have, as a society, managed to shut out the parts of the world we don’t like the look of. We can happily ignore the plight of millions because we are OK. It’s not big, it’s not clever. It just is.
America has spent so much money fighting this war that they could have gone a long way towards helping out our fellow Africans. No, money is not the answer to Africa’s problems, but it would help.
People are the problem, Full Stop. And this really got me thinking.
This kind of hypnotic lull often reminds me of another form of mind-bending phenomena.
.
.
Hypnotism.
.
.
Never done it myself but I saw it at a pub once and it looks kinda freaky.
Are Nigerians secretly hypnotising themselves to search for more interesting ways to earn money? Have they finally broken free of the shackles of the West, or have they just been smoking too much opium?
I was speaking to a lecturer today about how easy we find it in the West to exploit Africa. Every day we make decisions in our lives which have a detrimental effect on people in another country. Most of the time we even know that there are alternatives but we choose not to follow them. Fair Trade products are available in most large supermarkets and yet they make up only a small percentage of sales. People see that they are Fair Trade, and just don’t bother. We have become so comfortable that we are almost blasé about other people. They are not around us, we can not see the suffering, they are not dieing on our doorstep and we do not have to watch them bury their babies. We spend money on fancy gadgets when that same money could help inoculate children against disease, we buy ‘luxury’ items while others go through a day with only a handful of rice.
Everyone does it, regardless of how much you may think you don’t. Think about all the money you have spent in the last month on ‘stuff’ that you don’t really need. Ever thought about giving that money to charity instead??
I’m not saying you are a bad person, just that we have, as a society, managed to shut out the parts of the world we don’t like the look of. We can happily ignore the plight of millions because we are OK. It’s not big, it’s not clever. It just is.
America has spent so much money fighting this war that they could have gone a long way towards helping out our fellow Africans. No, money is not the answer to Africa’s problems, but it would help.
People are the problem, Full Stop. And this really got me thinking.
19 April 2004
Fllthunkture repair kit.
Plunk plunk fizz.
What you looking’ at. . . . .whuboff!!
Fllthunk fllthunk fllthunk.
All the above are the sounds of failure. However, only that last is the sound of a puncture. A puncture on the rear wheel of my mountain bike. A puncture on the rear wheel of my mountain bike when I’m 5 miles away from home.
It was early, half seven to be precise. We set out on our thrice weekly ‘before work’ cycle. We got to where we usually do and decided to go further as we were making good time. About another half mile down the canal and the muffled fllthunk of a slowly deflating tyre started getting louder. Minutes later, I was facing whence I came and pushing.
Moral of the story; pushing your luck, inevitably leads, to just pushing.
What you looking’ at. . . . .whuboff!!
Fllthunk fllthunk fllthunk.
All the above are the sounds of failure. However, only that last is the sound of a puncture. A puncture on the rear wheel of my mountain bike. A puncture on the rear wheel of my mountain bike when I’m 5 miles away from home.
It was early, half seven to be precise. We set out on our thrice weekly ‘before work’ cycle. We got to where we usually do and decided to go further as we were making good time. About another half mile down the canal and the muffled fllthunk of a slowly deflating tyre started getting louder. Minutes later, I was facing whence I came and pushing.
Moral of the story; pushing your luck, inevitably leads, to just pushing.
16 April 2004
What to believe Wardy, what to believe??
The parting words as I left my housemates room. He is trying to land a sweet job in South Asia but just found a web site basically saying that the people he was going to work for are slave drivers and are only out to rip you off.
So this got me thinking, on what do we base which information we believe.
As we trundle through life we are always being challenged on what is, and what is not, true. Even great minds get it wrong, and seeing as it is the great thinkers that set the scene for the rest of us, it leaves us in a bit of a quandary.
The television tells us things and most people automatically believe what is said because it is seen as an ‘honest’ form of media. ( maybe not Channel 5 though eh)
The internet is full of cooks and crazies and newspapers can be little better.
It would easy to go though life, thanks to the internet, believing that CS Lewis was selling our souls and that when we vaccinate our kids they are injected with micro micro chips.
( I really wish I was making this stuff up sometimes! )
Well maybe not ‘easy’ to believe but I’m sure someone out there would buy this stuff in a second. I mean, I’ve seen Trisha, and if that is the general level of things to come then soon the whole of the country will believe that Dale Winton is more annoying than Mick Hucknall. Please people, we’re talking Mick Hucknall here, not Carol who does the weather on BBC’s Breakfast.
Carol, I can handle it if it’s going to rain, you don’t have to tell me this through side splitting laughter and blatantly acted jolliness.
So what should we believe? Well as a general rule I tend to believe anything that is said to me while I’m drunk, this is because these things are so obviously plausible. Such statements as “Wow Wardy, you’re a really good dancer.” And “I think she likes you.”
I believe most of the things I hear in lectures. Such as “The horse I rode to work on was called Sexy.” ( again, I wish I was making this up! )
And not much of what I see on telly. “Residents claim that it is bad road design, and not people driving too fast and with too little skill while eating or talking on the phone, that is causing accidents.”
These rules have got me this far. Here’s hoping they get me a little farther.
Then again, I am sucker for The Onion.
So this got me thinking, on what do we base which information we believe.
As we trundle through life we are always being challenged on what is, and what is not, true. Even great minds get it wrong, and seeing as it is the great thinkers that set the scene for the rest of us, it leaves us in a bit of a quandary.
The television tells us things and most people automatically believe what is said because it is seen as an ‘honest’ form of media. ( maybe not Channel 5 though eh)
The internet is full of cooks and crazies and newspapers can be little better.
It would easy to go though life, thanks to the internet, believing that CS Lewis was selling our souls and that when we vaccinate our kids they are injected with micro micro chips.
( I really wish I was making this stuff up sometimes! )
Well maybe not ‘easy’ to believe but I’m sure someone out there would buy this stuff in a second. I mean, I’ve seen Trisha, and if that is the general level of things to come then soon the whole of the country will believe that Dale Winton is more annoying than Mick Hucknall. Please people, we’re talking Mick Hucknall here, not Carol who does the weather on BBC’s Breakfast.
Carol, I can handle it if it’s going to rain, you don’t have to tell me this through side splitting laughter and blatantly acted jolliness.
So what should we believe? Well as a general rule I tend to believe anything that is said to me while I’m drunk, this is because these things are so obviously plausible. Such statements as “Wow Wardy, you’re a really good dancer.” And “I think she likes you.”
I believe most of the things I hear in lectures. Such as “The horse I rode to work on was called Sexy.” ( again, I wish I was making this up! )
And not much of what I see on telly. “Residents claim that it is bad road design, and not people driving too fast and with too little skill while eating or talking on the phone, that is causing accidents.”
These rules have got me this far. Here’s hoping they get me a little farther.
Then again, I am sucker for The Onion.
15 April 2004
Chitty Chitty Lame Ass.
I was walking through town today on a trek around the charity shops when something caught my eye, there was a car at the traffic lights, stationary, yet the hub caps were still spinning!!
Now you would think this would look sooo cool I would run over and maybe try licking them. However, the car was some dirty old red polo and the .. . . ahem “bling bling rims” only highlighted how normal the car was. It just didn’t look cool. It was the Jimmy Saville of cars. Old, battered, but still trying to be flash.
I just laughed. Stared some more. Then laughed again.
Truly the guy driving didn’t know a thing about cool, and truly, I am someone who obviously does!!!
The thing about car modding, and it might be me here who just doesn’t get it, is that almost all modded cars look crap. All you have to do is flick through a copy of Max Power to see a whole range of crappy looking cars. They are normal, average looking cars, somehow made to look worse. If you want to mod a car, you should start with a freakin ace car, and then do it up. That way you get the reaction of “what a freaking ace car, and what freaking ace mods!” and not the reaction of “what an average car, and what a generic spoiler”.
Yanks can modify cars, no two ways about it. They are good at this. I think its because they have more imagination. You wouldn’t hear a yank going “well, blow me Barry, Terry just got a Nova, why don’t I buy a 206 and buy a bigger and more generic spoiler than him.”
When yanks modify cars they look like this and this.
When brits try and do it they end up looking like this, and lets not forget this.
However, when the brits get it right, and when it’s some real engineer doing the work and not some dehydrated dope fiend, the results are worth the wait.
But the king, and I do not use this term lightly, The KING I say, of modding cars has got to be this hero of humanity. This guy knows a thing or two about being an individual. Just look at the dashboard. This guy rules, if I met him I would shake his hand and get a photo of me and him, stood in front of the car, shaking hands. . . and smiling.
The ironic thing about modifying cars, is that it all started because people didn’t want to drive around in a car that looked like everyone else’s. But now, they all get the same mods done. It’s like wearing a Kappa tracksuit ten years ago to stand out.
And finally peeps, let it go with the spoilers, they aren’t even the same colour as your car and I can see where you bolted it to your boot. Honestly . . .just let it go.
So please people, stop trying to make you cars look cool and just buy a decent car in the first place. There is only one car in the whole of my trip into uni that I have any respect for and it’s a Mustang. Someone went to the trouble to get a proper car in the first place, and then has obviously spent money making it super sweet. So congratulations to you, and shame on everyone else.
Oh, and for all the trouble makers out there that want to know what kind of car I have. It's Here.
Now you would think this would look sooo cool I would run over and maybe try licking them. However, the car was some dirty old red polo and the .. . . ahem “bling bling rims” only highlighted how normal the car was. It just didn’t look cool. It was the Jimmy Saville of cars. Old, battered, but still trying to be flash.
I just laughed. Stared some more. Then laughed again.
Truly the guy driving didn’t know a thing about cool, and truly, I am someone who obviously does!!!
The thing about car modding, and it might be me here who just doesn’t get it, is that almost all modded cars look crap. All you have to do is flick through a copy of Max Power to see a whole range of crappy looking cars. They are normal, average looking cars, somehow made to look worse. If you want to mod a car, you should start with a freakin ace car, and then do it up. That way you get the reaction of “what a freaking ace car, and what freaking ace mods!” and not the reaction of “what an average car, and what a generic spoiler”.
Yanks can modify cars, no two ways about it. They are good at this. I think its because they have more imagination. You wouldn’t hear a yank going “well, blow me Barry, Terry just got a Nova, why don’t I buy a 206 and buy a bigger and more generic spoiler than him.”
When yanks modify cars they look like this and this.
When brits try and do it they end up looking like this, and lets not forget this.
However, when the brits get it right, and when it’s some real engineer doing the work and not some dehydrated dope fiend, the results are worth the wait.
But the king, and I do not use this term lightly, The KING I say, of modding cars has got to be this hero of humanity. This guy knows a thing or two about being an individual. Just look at the dashboard. This guy rules, if I met him I would shake his hand and get a photo of me and him, stood in front of the car, shaking hands. . . and smiling.
The ironic thing about modifying cars, is that it all started because people didn’t want to drive around in a car that looked like everyone else’s. But now, they all get the same mods done. It’s like wearing a Kappa tracksuit ten years ago to stand out.
And finally peeps, let it go with the spoilers, they aren’t even the same colour as your car and I can see where you bolted it to your boot. Honestly . . .just let it go.
So please people, stop trying to make you cars look cool and just buy a decent car in the first place. There is only one car in the whole of my trip into uni that I have any respect for and it’s a Mustang. Someone went to the trouble to get a proper car in the first place, and then has obviously spent money making it super sweet. So congratulations to you, and shame on everyone else.
Oh, and for all the trouble makers out there that want to know what kind of car I have. It's Here.
14 April 2004
The build, the facts, and the tragic ending.
Avoid war zones, this was the priceless piece of information given to me today by a lecturer. I could have probably worked that one out on my own, given time, but he just jumped right in there and spoiled the surprise for me.
The space bar on my keyboard is in the process of breaking so now you have to hit it harder than usual to get it to work. Doesn’t sound that annoying but I’m hoping any of you that have used a keyboard for more than 20 minutes at a time will sympathise with me.
I don’t really have anything to share with you today – as apposed to every other day where I have radical insights into the problems of both the individual and society as a whole – but I shall leave you with this. . .
. . . I have taken a lot of grief in my time for not answering my mobile. Yes, sometimes I just cant be bothered to answer my phone, when I’m doing something else for instance. Say I’m, heaven forbid, in the middle of something and my phone rings, my first reaction is not “Golly gosh, how am I going to safely replace this radioactive isotope back in the chamber before voice mail kicks in and I am perceived as rude!!!!”
Also say, good lord, that I am having a conversation with someone - face to face!!!! - and my phone rings, I will not instantly ignore the person I’m talking to and answer my phone.
I like my phone, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I see it more as a tool than an overlord whose every wish I must obey. You wouldn’t expect me to let my dinner go cold so I could talk to you, nor would you expect that you could butt into any conversation, ruin any television or instantly make me drop everything I am doing at a given time and talk to you. But somehow, because someone is calling you, that is exactly what we are supposed to do.
So where am I going with this, well, while people say I’m annoying for not answering my phone, if I did, I would be equally as annoying. The facts are right here.
That’s all for today folks. I’mgoingtogoandfixmykeyboard.
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Hmmmm, when I was writing that joke I kinda forgot the funny.
The space bar on my keyboard is in the process of breaking so now you have to hit it harder than usual to get it to work. Doesn’t sound that annoying but I’m hoping any of you that have used a keyboard for more than 20 minutes at a time will sympathise with me.
I don’t really have anything to share with you today – as apposed to every other day where I have radical insights into the problems of both the individual and society as a whole – but I shall leave you with this. . .
. . . I have taken a lot of grief in my time for not answering my mobile. Yes, sometimes I just cant be bothered to answer my phone, when I’m doing something else for instance. Say I’m, heaven forbid, in the middle of something and my phone rings, my first reaction is not “Golly gosh, how am I going to safely replace this radioactive isotope back in the chamber before voice mail kicks in and I am perceived as rude!!!!”
Also say, good lord, that I am having a conversation with someone - face to face!!!! - and my phone rings, I will not instantly ignore the person I’m talking to and answer my phone.
I like my phone, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I see it more as a tool than an overlord whose every wish I must obey. You wouldn’t expect me to let my dinner go cold so I could talk to you, nor would you expect that you could butt into any conversation, ruin any television or instantly make me drop everything I am doing at a given time and talk to you. But somehow, because someone is calling you, that is exactly what we are supposed to do.
So where am I going with this, well, while people say I’m annoying for not answering my phone, if I did, I would be equally as annoying. The facts are right here.
That’s all for today folks. I’mgoingtogoandfixmykeyboard.
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Hmmmm, when I was writing that joke I kinda forgot the funny.
13 April 2004
Derren Brown, eat your heart out.
Of all the stuff I have read on the internet, this has to be one of the coolest. I’ve linked to this before but I went back and read it properly and it rules.
The language is amazing, its like reading a really good book, but these guys were for real.
By psychopolitics create chaos. Leave a nation leaderless. Kill our enemies. And bring to Earth, through Communism, the greatest peace Man has ever known.
When an order is issued by the Communist State, and is not obeyed, a sickness will be discovered to ensue. Where obedience fails, the masses suffer.
To be obeyed, one must be believed. If one is sufficiently believed, one will unquestioningly be obeyed.
Degradation and conquest are companions.
And this is only a handful that I picked out from scanning through. These guys knew what they wanted, and they knew how to get it.
It’s just that their methods were somewhat. . . unorthodox.
The language is amazing, its like reading a really good book, but these guys were for real.
By psychopolitics create chaos. Leave a nation leaderless. Kill our enemies. And bring to Earth, through Communism, the greatest peace Man has ever known.
When an order is issued by the Communist State, and is not obeyed, a sickness will be discovered to ensue. Where obedience fails, the masses suffer.
To be obeyed, one must be believed. If one is sufficiently believed, one will unquestioningly be obeyed.
Degradation and conquest are companions.
And this is only a handful that I picked out from scanning through. These guys knew what they wanted, and they knew how to get it.
It’s just that their methods were somewhat. . . unorthodox.
The two things about finding crap on the internet.
Found this which I thought was quite cool and it got me thinking about the Two Things of Disaster Management. I reckon they are:
1 – Never say never.
2 – Don’t get complacent.
But then I thought these were a bit lame so I modified them to:
1 – Run away from loud noises.
2 – Know who to blame.
1 – Never say never.
2 – Don’t get complacent.
But then I thought these were a bit lame so I modified them to:
1 – Run away from loud noises.
2 – Know who to blame.
Pro Plus just aint what it used to be.
Yet another day where I’m meant to be working hard and yet, somehow, I just cant get in the mood. I’m sat under an open window, the sun streaming in, its warm, I’m surrounded by A4 paper, a highlighter, a dirty mug, assorted pens, screwed up paper, a sealed tuppaware box which contained tuna salad over two weeks ago and is yet to be washed, empty wine bottles and my newly restored mp3 player and headphones.
It’s not like I don’t realise that this work HAS to get done. It’s just that some days you can crack a good 10 hours out no problems and still want to go on, and others, like today, you cant.
This isn’t to say that I’ve had a fully unproductive day, I’ve done a lot of reading, its just the pulling together of the project that hasn’t been “full steam ahead”. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.
It’s not like I don’t realise that this work HAS to get done. It’s just that some days you can crack a good 10 hours out no problems and still want to go on, and others, like today, you cant.
This isn’t to say that I’ve had a fully unproductive day, I’ve done a lot of reading, its just the pulling together of the project that hasn’t been “full steam ahead”. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.
An Easter Promise.
The most amazing thing happened on Sunday. I was sat at my computer with my broken mp3 player, surfing the internet and looking for a good deal on a new one, when I had a brainwave.
My pc would basically just not recognise the player after the “magnet” incident so I loaded up some trusty McAfee software and tried formatting it again.
It worked.
Pretty short sweet and lame ending to a story which I now feel I should have dragged out for a bit longer, but you know, lifes too short.
Suffice to say, it broke on the Friday and was fixed on the Sunday. The miracle of Easter lives on!
My pc would basically just not recognise the player after the “magnet” incident so I loaded up some trusty McAfee software and tried formatting it again.
It worked.
Pretty short sweet and lame ending to a story which I now feel I should have dragged out for a bit longer, but you know, lifes too short.
Suffice to say, it broke on the Friday and was fixed on the Sunday. The miracle of Easter lives on!
08 April 2004
The Death of a Friend.
I killed a close friend today. I have not left the house without him in about a year, he goes with me everywhere, he keeps me amused, he makes me laugh, he makes me smile, sometimes he makes me angry but only when I ask him to. He keeps me company when I’m lonely and he entertains when I have company. Yet today I put him too near a strong magnet and my sodding mp3 player is now a worthless piece of junk.
www.advancedmp3players.co.uk here we come.
And this comes no more than 2 weeks after my ace family bought me some new earphones as well.
Grrr and such like.
www.advancedmp3players.co.uk here we come.
And this comes no more than 2 weeks after my ace family bought me some new earphones as well.
Grrr and such like.
06 April 2004
Nearly Forgot
Or maybe I was meant to forget, ohhh dunno. Or maybe I do. . . can't remember.
Actually I can't remember anything past meeting that Russian at the Hi Tech Weapons Factory a few years ago. And I now have this scar over my spine and sometimes I just freak out and kick Democrats in the head for no reason.
Must be a lack of sleep.
Anyhoo.
Actually I can't remember anything past meeting that Russian at the Hi Tech Weapons Factory a few years ago. And I now have this scar over my spine and sometimes I just freak out and kick Democrats in the head for no reason.
Must be a lack of sleep.
Anyhoo.
More stuff to watch.
Thought I’d treat you to some more sweet animation.
This one is about the last meals of people about to be executed in Texas.
This one is an alternative look of the moments before the big bang.
Both very good in their own way. On the second I think you have to click “Watch this film” you cant link to the animation itself.
Today I walked home in the sunshine and avoided the piles of hailstone which had fallen only minutes before. Gotta love England.
And I totally broke about growing my hair. It was about the time that I took as long as I was in the shower to get my hair looking ok, and then glanced out the window and noticed the rain which made me think “oh no, this is gonna ruin my hairdo” that I realised enough was enough and the curls had to go. So now I’m just another short haired nobody, traipsing around Coventry in a ripped coat.
Enjoy the films, I’m going to get some sleep.
This one is about the last meals of people about to be executed in Texas.
This one is an alternative look of the moments before the big bang.
Both very good in their own way. On the second I think you have to click “Watch this film” you cant link to the animation itself.
Today I walked home in the sunshine and avoided the piles of hailstone which had fallen only minutes before. Gotta love England.
And I totally broke about growing my hair. It was about the time that I took as long as I was in the shower to get my hair looking ok, and then glanced out the window and noticed the rain which made me think “oh no, this is gonna ruin my hairdo” that I realised enough was enough and the curls had to go. So now I’m just another short haired nobody, traipsing around Coventry in a ripped coat.
Enjoy the films, I’m going to get some sleep.
05 April 2004
Stung by the system.
So a full 5 weeks after getting back from a field trip we are now told that we owe £50 for the privilege. Gee university, thanks a lot for that one. Man, surely it would be easier to pay a yearly wage for things like this to cover what the university has to pay for my education . . . .oh wait. . . .
I was finally allowed to make myself coffee in the Resources Room. Almost 3 years down the line and I have been granted this privilege, and only because it’s half term and all the sensible people have gone home. ( replace the word sensible with ‘brainy’ as they have already finished their work!)
My hair is now too long, too curly and too annoying. I’m gonna really have to think about whether it’s worth growing it. The effort:cool ratio is just way down at the moment.
Electrics still buggerd . . . . . formulating a plan.
I was finally allowed to make myself coffee in the Resources Room. Almost 3 years down the line and I have been granted this privilege, and only because it’s half term and all the sensible people have gone home. ( replace the word sensible with ‘brainy’ as they have already finished their work!)
My hair is now too long, too curly and too annoying. I’m gonna really have to think about whether it’s worth growing it. The effort:cool ratio is just way down at the moment.
Electrics still buggerd . . . . . formulating a plan.
03 April 2004
Piano or Guitar???
I was thinking last night which of these instruments I would rather be able to play. At first I thought it would definitely be guitar, so I could badly parody my favourite musicians. ( Jason Mraz and Speechwriters LLC, how I love thee! ) But then I thought about it a little deeper and settled on the piano. I was thinking it would just be the best thing in the world to walk into a smoky bar, order a whisky, sit at the piano and start banging out some good old fashioned rock and roll. Maybe tuning it down a bit with some Sammy Davis Junior, slipping in a bit of Savoy Brown and then gently ending on the Blues. Man, real life will just never compare to the cool stuff I wish I could do.
The electrics in our house are SHOCKING!!! Dum dum.
Remember how I told you that you can get an electric shock in our kitchen by simply touching the screws in the switch fitting. Well yesterday, the light in the lounge blew which meant that there was now no light in the entrance, lounge, hall or landing. This meant when you get in at night, you have to blindly find your way to the upstairs bathroom before you find a light that works.
The lights in the house have a life of approximately a month, it gets tedious changing them all the time but now we are sat in the pitch black it seemed a good time for another mass light exchange.
So there I was, stood on a chair, at the top of a flight of stairs, straining to reach the improbably high light fitting. I had hold of it, I was twisting the bulb, it was sticking, I twisted harder . . . . . and then pulled a foot of wire out the ceiling, along with the base of the light fitting and a box with lots of other wires going into it.
We are so screwed.
I’m going to have to call the landlady and explain to her that the wiring in the house is shot to pieces, lets just hope upon hope that she even bothers to pick the phone up this time. Although seeing as she has NEVER answered her phone I’m not holding my breath.
The lights in the house have a life of approximately a month, it gets tedious changing them all the time but now we are sat in the pitch black it seemed a good time for another mass light exchange.
So there I was, stood on a chair, at the top of a flight of stairs, straining to reach the improbably high light fitting. I had hold of it, I was twisting the bulb, it was sticking, I twisted harder . . . . . and then pulled a foot of wire out the ceiling, along with the base of the light fitting and a box with lots of other wires going into it.
We are so screwed.
I’m going to have to call the landlady and explain to her that the wiring in the house is shot to pieces, lets just hope upon hope that she even bothers to pick the phone up this time. Although seeing as she has NEVER answered her phone I’m not holding my breath.
01 April 2004
Would you adam and eve it.
I just won the lottery, I am now a fully fledged multi millionaire.
And just before that I was talking to a girl who looked just like Sooz from AsIf and she asked me out so I said yes. That must be because my hair is now straight and looks really cool.
Cant wait till I get my 1st.
And just before that I was talking to a girl who looked just like Sooz from AsIf and she asked me out so I said yes. That must be because my hair is now straight and looks really cool.
Cant wait till I get my 1st.
Random stuff.
A bouncer charged me to get in a bar last night a full 15 minutes before they should have started charging on the door. I explained to him that the reason I was there at 9:45 was so I wouldn’t have to pay to get in.
He could have cared less.
I paid.
Still resent myself for it.
I bought some chips yesterday and when I asked the guy for vinegar he just laughed at me. Yeah, thanks mate, wait till I’ve bought my chips before you let me know that they will be almost uneatable without vinegar on them, nice one.
I thought I’d have another go at kebab meat as well to see if its improved in the couple of months its been since I last tried it.
Suffice to say, it hasn’t.
So I had kebab meat and chips with no vinegar. It’s hard to get lower than this.
And yet. . . .
Today I ate tuna and pasta for the 15th day in a row. And I have been counting.
If you hold down Alt in Word and press 0179 then you get the cubed sign, as is meters cubed. Handy that.
Had a dream last night about hippos that were actually bulls, and then woke up and realised that male hippos are called bulls. The mind boggles eh.
Wish I was 8 again and had no responsibility and could amuse myself for hours by just pretending to be a cowboy or something. That would be cool.
He could have cared less.
I paid.
Still resent myself for it.
I bought some chips yesterday and when I asked the guy for vinegar he just laughed at me. Yeah, thanks mate, wait till I’ve bought my chips before you let me know that they will be almost uneatable without vinegar on them, nice one.
I thought I’d have another go at kebab meat as well to see if its improved in the couple of months its been since I last tried it.
Suffice to say, it hasn’t.
So I had kebab meat and chips with no vinegar. It’s hard to get lower than this.
And yet. . . .
Today I ate tuna and pasta for the 15th day in a row. And I have been counting.
If you hold down Alt in Word and press 0179 then you get the cubed sign, as is meters cubed. Handy that.
Had a dream last night about hippos that were actually bulls, and then woke up and realised that male hippos are called bulls. The mind boggles eh.
Wish I was 8 again and had no responsibility and could amuse myself for hours by just pretending to be a cowboy or something. That would be cool.
31 March 2004
This little piggy went down the rabbit hole.
Ok Ok, I know I've been a bit slack with updates recently, however, this little beauty has snapped me right out of it.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with pleasure that I bring to you THE MEATRIX.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with pleasure that I bring to you THE MEATRIX.
20 March 2004
Flaming Drip Trays Batman!
An interesting couple of days.
I was walking around Coventry last night trying to find a bar. I knew – kinda – where it was, but only is so much as I - kinda – knew which direction to walk.
I managed to get outside the ring road and was merrily walking around . . . somewhere. . . when I realised that for 20 of the past 45 minutes I had been lost. I knew I could retrace my steps and decided on this as I had fully no idea where in Coventry I was, and was getting a bit tired of walking round.
On the way back I decided to ask for directions so I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the night aimlessly traipsing the streets. So the next people I saw, I asked.
They were two guys, obviously locals, and for all intents and purposes looked “normal” (no obvious scars). Do you know what reply I got.
“Give me twenty quid and I’ll tell you.”
YEAH RIGHT!!!
I must admit, when they said that I did think for a split second that I was about to get mugged. I thought “Nice one Wardy, the two guys you decide to ask end up kicking you ass and nicking your mp3 player”. Well the joke would have been on them because one of my earphones is broken!!
I digress.
So I was left once again on my own, lost, and not really wanting to ask the gang of “yoot” the way for fear I would ruin their game of “Try and set the shopping trolley on fire.”
Luckily for me, one of the girls finally noticed I had tried calling and phoned be back.
“Hey Wardy, where are you?”
“I am LITERALLY, stood underneath junction 9 of the ring road.”
Suffice to say, I found the place in the end and I had missed it by only one street about 30 minutes earlier.
You live and learn.
On a lighter note I bagged me some deals in the Salvation Army shop. I got a really cool hoody for two quid, a horrendous shirt that I just know I’m gonna make look amazing somehow for one pound, and a fully fantastic “this is the kind of thing I wore when I was 6” T-shirt for fifty pence.
Gotta love the Salvo’s.
I will leave you with a little snap shot of Friday night.
Girl orders double Sambuka.
Girl spills double Sambuka on bar.
Girl thinks it will be funny to light the Sambuka regardless.
Barman doesn’t.
I was walking around Coventry last night trying to find a bar. I knew – kinda – where it was, but only is so much as I - kinda – knew which direction to walk.
I managed to get outside the ring road and was merrily walking around . . . somewhere. . . when I realised that for 20 of the past 45 minutes I had been lost. I knew I could retrace my steps and decided on this as I had fully no idea where in Coventry I was, and was getting a bit tired of walking round.
On the way back I decided to ask for directions so I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the night aimlessly traipsing the streets. So the next people I saw, I asked.
They were two guys, obviously locals, and for all intents and purposes looked “normal” (no obvious scars). Do you know what reply I got.
“Give me twenty quid and I’ll tell you.”
YEAH RIGHT!!!
I must admit, when they said that I did think for a split second that I was about to get mugged. I thought “Nice one Wardy, the two guys you decide to ask end up kicking you ass and nicking your mp3 player”. Well the joke would have been on them because one of my earphones is broken!!
I digress.
So I was left once again on my own, lost, and not really wanting to ask the gang of “yoot” the way for fear I would ruin their game of “Try and set the shopping trolley on fire.”
Luckily for me, one of the girls finally noticed I had tried calling and phoned be back.
“Hey Wardy, where are you?”
“I am LITERALLY, stood underneath junction 9 of the ring road.”
Suffice to say, I found the place in the end and I had missed it by only one street about 30 minutes earlier.
You live and learn.
On a lighter note I bagged me some deals in the Salvation Army shop. I got a really cool hoody for two quid, a horrendous shirt that I just know I’m gonna make look amazing somehow for one pound, and a fully fantastic “this is the kind of thing I wore when I was 6” T-shirt for fifty pence.
Gotta love the Salvo’s.
I will leave you with a little snap shot of Friday night.
Girl orders double Sambuka.
Girl spills double Sambuka on bar.
Girl thinks it will be funny to light the Sambuka regardless.
Barman doesn’t.
UNMAS
According to my typo, there is a United Nations Mince Action Service. So while the world may still be ravaged my landmines, everyone gets to eat a good pie!!
18 March 2004
Makes sense when you think about it.
With no sense of irony, we frequently congratulate ourselves upon the heroic behaviour of the emergency services in a disaster. If the emergency services have to be heroic, then hazard management has failed since the objective is to reduce a potential disaster to the easily manageable. Equally, the emergency services frequently have to compensate with heroism for the failure of command, communication and control during the disaster, and mismanagement and negligence prior to the disaster.
Colin Green, 1992.
Colin Green, 1992.
Open Air Job Centre.
Half of the City Centre is currently cordoned off due to a bomb threat. The speakers that usually play shopping inducing music are now giving out a warning and informing people to stay away.
My entire course could find work in the next couple of hours!
My entire course could find work in the next couple of hours!
16 March 2004
You cant spell manager, without almost spelling anger.
I have lost the ability to spell the word management while touch typing. I have got it wrong so many times I think my brain has set a block up and I can now no longer type it without stopping halfway through and thinking about the next couple of letters.
If you like the Channel 4 “between program” skits and think that gratuitous swearing is funny then watch this.
Started drinking a lot of green tea.
Started getting head aches.
Do the math.
The library was bliss today, the university’s internet connection was down so the place was deserted. Lovely.
Well that’s enough time wasting for one night. Back to work for me.
If you like the Channel 4 “between program” skits and think that gratuitous swearing is funny then watch this.
Started drinking a lot of green tea.
Started getting head aches.
Do the math.
The library was bliss today, the university’s internet connection was down so the place was deserted. Lovely.
Well that’s enough time wasting for one night. Back to work for me.
14 March 2004
It's the little things in life.
Mozilla Firebird - Now Firefox - just keeps on getting better. I just discovered you can open all the bookmarks in a folder by right clicking on it!!
With the time I save doing this I can sort my phone out!!
Internet research, how my days would be empty without you.
With the time I save doing this I can sort my phone out!!
Internet research, how my days would be empty without you.
Ducking Annoying.
The dictionary is my phone has deleted all the words that I taught it. This means I have now lost my extensive collection of swear words, names, Yorkshire slang and shorthand!! Untill I get them all back in, texting will take just that little bit longer.
How to get fat.
I have run out of food. Yesterday I ordered a pizza at 11 in the morning and then for “dinner” I had a tub of chocolate fudge ice cream.
This is no life.
This is no life.
13 March 2004
Sunny Saturday.
The unplesantries were out in force last night. Losers.
I now have 8 days in which to complete 2 pieces of coursework. I shall accomplish this through the use of coffee, burning the candle at the proverbials and the reward of a most heinous night out once they have been handed in.
I just listened to “The End” by The Doors, and have to say, it is going in my top 10 best pieces of music all time list. I think next time I get in from a heady night out I shall play it very loud with all the lights off to really get “into the music”! Lets face it, anything is better than trying to fall asleep with Chumbawumba going round your head.
It’s Fair Trade Fortnight in Coventry at the moment so I keep on being given free coffee and chocolate. Bonus. I’m meant to be in town at the moment to get some more but after spending a morning waiting for the Pizza guy to arrive – really should go to the shops – I don’t know if I have the will to leave the house. Think I’ll just watch series one of The Office instead to remind myself that there really are people worse off than me.
We had an amazing discovery in the house this week. We found out that the light switch in the kitchen does not give you an electric shock as we thought. It’s actually the screws of the switch face. If you stand barefoot on the vinyl kitchen floor and touch the screws you get a sizable but not dangerous shock, if you stand in the lounge it just tingles, nobody has yet dare stand on the brass foot plate between the two. But sooner or later someone will. . . oh yes. . they always do!
I now have 8 days in which to complete 2 pieces of coursework. I shall accomplish this through the use of coffee, burning the candle at the proverbials and the reward of a most heinous night out once they have been handed in.
I just listened to “The End” by The Doors, and have to say, it is going in my top 10 best pieces of music all time list. I think next time I get in from a heady night out I shall play it very loud with all the lights off to really get “into the music”! Lets face it, anything is better than trying to fall asleep with Chumbawumba going round your head.
It’s Fair Trade Fortnight in Coventry at the moment so I keep on being given free coffee and chocolate. Bonus. I’m meant to be in town at the moment to get some more but after spending a morning waiting for the Pizza guy to arrive – really should go to the shops – I don’t know if I have the will to leave the house. Think I’ll just watch series one of The Office instead to remind myself that there really are people worse off than me.
We had an amazing discovery in the house this week. We found out that the light switch in the kitchen does not give you an electric shock as we thought. It’s actually the screws of the switch face. If you stand barefoot on the vinyl kitchen floor and touch the screws you get a sizable but not dangerous shock, if you stand in the lounge it just tingles, nobody has yet dare stand on the brass foot plate between the two. But sooner or later someone will. . . oh yes. . they always do!
08 March 2004
Sammy's Super T-Shirt
It Is Over.
Sammy’s Super T-Shirt!
At last. I was not making it up. I would like to thank Chris and his unbelievable knowledge of children’s television for pointing me in the right direction and Richard for telling me the name of the film after days of searching. You have put my mind to rest.
You have to download the theme tune, it’s sooooo 80’s. I love it. I feel like I have reclaimed a lost memory!
Sammy’s Super T-Shirt!
At last. I was not making it up. I would like to thank Chris and his unbelievable knowledge of children’s television for pointing me in the right direction and Richard for telling me the name of the film after days of searching. You have put my mind to rest.
You have to download the theme tune, it’s sooooo 80’s. I love it. I feel like I have reclaimed a lost memory!
07 March 2004
The build, the release, and the calm.
Well the other group got back from Wales and we went through the ritual of trying to work out who did what best. Obviously there was a small degree of friendly rivalry but we all got over it with a couple of pints of the peacemaker.
We were sharing the pub yesterday with some Neo Nazis. Must admit it was the first time I have ever seen people be so open about it. They weren’t wearing swastikas as such, they were stylised but still recognisable. Luckily they didn’t stay long and as quickly as they all marched in, they took their shaven heads, leather boots and outdated politics out the door again. Was a bit odd to see them in the flesh. I mean, there are the BNP posters up around our area but when you come face to face with the guys it just makes you wonder what went on in their lives to make them believe what they do.
Maybe we should all go and give them a hug and tell them that its all alright. . . . then again they would probably beat the living breath out of me for being a “fag” so I might let that one go.
I am still waiting for my lottery win to come through. I was looking at some delicious Marcos cars today and even though they don’t cost that much, they are still just outside of my considerable debt. That then got me onto thinking about what I would do when my uni course is all over. That then depressed me so I starting thinking about winning the lottery again. I tell you, this ignoring your problems thing is a real winner. Now if I can only make this work for my grades as well . . . . .
Went to the pound shop for some chocolate yesterday and promptly ate myself into doing double exercise to work it all off. Then today, after feeling guilty for eating so much yesterday, I wanted some more. I tell you it’s a slippery slope this gluttony thing.
I was reading an article today about how people have been lied to by cigarette companies. It was saying how “low” and “ultra” cigs can have the same effect as normal cigarettes because of the way they are smoked. I was going through this article and it was making me more and more annoyed the more I read. I got to the end and the thin veneer of patience I have for smokers had gotten that little bit thinner. If you want to smoke then fine, just don’t do it near me and don’t complain when you die early. But to pretend you thought the ones you were smoking were better for you is ludicrous. The only thing I can find that is analogous to this is stabbing yourself in the stomach with a butter rather than a steak knife – because its smaller.
Honestly, the amount of everyday things that we try to blame on others is getting out of hand.
Nazis; immigrants are not stealing your jobs, you’re not getting employed because you have a swastika tattooed on your forehead and you called the receptionist a paki.
Smokers; blaming the cigarette companies for putting tar in their cigarettes is like blaming the toilet for being full of shit.
And relax. . . . . .
Anyway, luckily for me there is also love, happiness and joy in the world. This is all because some friends of mine completed a half marathon for charity today. This has left me out of pocket but feeling good as we have once again managed to raise loads of money for good causes.
And once again the wonder that is Hazel who works in our Resource Room has got the university to match all our donations!!
We were sharing the pub yesterday with some Neo Nazis. Must admit it was the first time I have ever seen people be so open about it. They weren’t wearing swastikas as such, they were stylised but still recognisable. Luckily they didn’t stay long and as quickly as they all marched in, they took their shaven heads, leather boots and outdated politics out the door again. Was a bit odd to see them in the flesh. I mean, there are the BNP posters up around our area but when you come face to face with the guys it just makes you wonder what went on in their lives to make them believe what they do.
Maybe we should all go and give them a hug and tell them that its all alright. . . . then again they would probably beat the living breath out of me for being a “fag” so I might let that one go.
I am still waiting for my lottery win to come through. I was looking at some delicious Marcos cars today and even though they don’t cost that much, they are still just outside of my considerable debt. That then got me onto thinking about what I would do when my uni course is all over. That then depressed me so I starting thinking about winning the lottery again. I tell you, this ignoring your problems thing is a real winner. Now if I can only make this work for my grades as well . . . . .
Went to the pound shop for some chocolate yesterday and promptly ate myself into doing double exercise to work it all off. Then today, after feeling guilty for eating so much yesterday, I wanted some more. I tell you it’s a slippery slope this gluttony thing.
I was reading an article today about how people have been lied to by cigarette companies. It was saying how “low” and “ultra” cigs can have the same effect as normal cigarettes because of the way they are smoked. I was going through this article and it was making me more and more annoyed the more I read. I got to the end and the thin veneer of patience I have for smokers had gotten that little bit thinner. If you want to smoke then fine, just don’t do it near me and don’t complain when you die early. But to pretend you thought the ones you were smoking were better for you is ludicrous. The only thing I can find that is analogous to this is stabbing yourself in the stomach with a butter rather than a steak knife – because its smaller.
Honestly, the amount of everyday things that we try to blame on others is getting out of hand.
Nazis; immigrants are not stealing your jobs, you’re not getting employed because you have a swastika tattooed on your forehead and you called the receptionist a paki.
Smokers; blaming the cigarette companies for putting tar in their cigarettes is like blaming the toilet for being full of shit.
And relax. . . . . .
Anyway, luckily for me there is also love, happiness and joy in the world. This is all because some friends of mine completed a half marathon for charity today. This has left me out of pocket but feeling good as we have once again managed to raise loads of money for good causes.
And once again the wonder that is Hazel who works in our Resource Room has got the university to match all our donations!!
05 March 2004
Butter on the outside of the fridge door????? I dont know either!
Well I’m back from Wales and seem to have left all motivation to work in the mountains. I’ve been moping around the house all morning telling myself that I need to do m y washing and get on with coursework. But instead I have checked my mail, checked my blogs, bought banana chips and had a shower. So going well so far!
I’m getting closer to an answer on the “kid in tiger t shirt” mystery. A few people can remember it so now I’m hunting the internet for a film name and picture. It surely will be a happy day when I do.
When I got back from Wales I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and was astounded by how repulsive it was. I always liked to think I was pretty chilled out about our kitchen not always being spotless. However, this day, it was different. It was an embarrassment that it could have got in the state it was. It’s been messy before, but this wasn’t just mess, this was stone cold bone idleness. This was laziness gone too far. I don’t know if it was the horrible contrast between the beauty of Wales and the filth of the kitchen that forced me to this but I just had to clean it. I could not have prepared food for myself in there.
Now though it is as clean as a whistle. All I have to do is try and convince the guys to keep it that way.
Meant to be going to an acoustic set at someone’s house tonight. I’m really hoping that these people have talent and are not doing it because there housemates keep on telling them that they’re really good. I’ll let you know tomorrow.
I’m getting closer to an answer on the “kid in tiger t shirt” mystery. A few people can remember it so now I’m hunting the internet for a film name and picture. It surely will be a happy day when I do.
When I got back from Wales I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and was astounded by how repulsive it was. I always liked to think I was pretty chilled out about our kitchen not always being spotless. However, this day, it was different. It was an embarrassment that it could have got in the state it was. It’s been messy before, but this wasn’t just mess, this was stone cold bone idleness. This was laziness gone too far. I don’t know if it was the horrible contrast between the beauty of Wales and the filth of the kitchen that forced me to this but I just had to clean it. I could not have prepared food for myself in there.
Now though it is as clean as a whistle. All I have to do is try and convince the guys to keep it that way.
Meant to be going to an acoustic set at someone’s house tonight. I’m really hoping that these people have talent and are not doing it because there housemates keep on telling them that they’re really good. I’ll let you know tomorrow.
04 March 2004
27 February 2004
Old Film Help Needed.
I need someone’s help.
I have a memory of watching a film when I was a kid, about another kid who had a t-shirt with a picture of a tigers head on it. The t-shirt gave him special powers and he could run really fast and other cool stuff for a ten year old. Does anyone remember what it was called? No one believes me that I saw it and I have to have someone validate this for me so I don’t start thinking I dreamt the whole thing!!
I have a memory of watching a film when I was a kid, about another kid who had a t-shirt with a picture of a tigers head on it. The t-shirt gave him special powers and he could run really fast and other cool stuff for a ten year old. Does anyone remember what it was called? No one believes me that I saw it and I have to have someone validate this for me so I don’t start thinking I dreamt the whole thing!!
25 February 2004
Your autocratic ways will be brought to heel with my rightous apathy.
Our students union organised a strike today. It was once again protesting against top up fees. The strike started at 12 noon. It is Wednesday, lectures finish at 1. I’m taking a swing in the dark here but this seems radically ineffective. A one hour strike. Ohhh, make me a hard hitting sign that I can wave during my one hour strike. This will really make the authorities stand up and take note, I missed an hour of lectures. I don’t take any crap from the government, I will not go back to the second half of one lecture. Hark at me and my forward thinking drastic protest.
So anyway, I stayed throughout the lecture and it was torture enough, students who didn’t really want to be there, being lectured by a someone who wished we had all been on strike anyway.
Power to the people.
So anyway, I stayed throughout the lecture and it was torture enough, students who didn’t really want to be there, being lectured by a someone who wished we had all been on strike anyway.
Power to the people.
24 February 2004
Dont worry about the scone Mrs Bridges, I've got a onion bharji in my sporran.
A couple of days ago our house was barraged with the somewhat “unique” sound of bagpipes. As this was slightly out of the ordinary in the average beige existence of work which we found ourselves in, an investigation was in order. It turned out that they were for a wedding that was taking place in the church across the street. All seems normal enough so far.
However, there were bagpipes, at an Asian wedding, taking place in a Methodist Church. Who says Multi Cultural Britain isn’t great.
Today we had a lecture and spent the majority of the time laughing at Australians. Our lecturer was Australian; he sometimes wore that “With or At??” face. Very amusing.
However, there were bagpipes, at an Asian wedding, taking place in a Methodist Church. Who says Multi Cultural Britain isn’t great.
Today we had a lecture and spent the majority of the time laughing at Australians. Our lecturer was Australian; he sometimes wore that “With or At??” face. Very amusing.
21 February 2004
Teoma - Search with Authority
I was trying to dry my clothes today so left my bedroom window open. After sitting there in multiple layers for almost 4 hours I looked over and realised that I had moved Monty nearer to the window not three weeks before. Knowing how cold it was – almost too cold to browse for randomness on the internet – it kinda figured that the little fella would be a bit nippy. I physical inspection confirmed this as he dutifully clung to me to sap my heat. So it was then that I had a brainwave. . . . I’d put him in the sink with some warm water.
I honestly do not know why I didn’t think of doing this ages ago. He is sooo cool when you put him in water. Not only does his belly go really really soft but he swims around as well. I really don’t know why I’m so surprised that I reptile can swim but it seem ace at the time. So I not pledge to take him swimming at least once a week, for my benefit if not his!
I also discovered a new search engine today called Teoma, I wont explain here how it works but I’ve found it really useful for university research. So much so that it has replaced Google as my home page.
I honestly do not know why I didn’t think of doing this ages ago. He is sooo cool when you put him in water. Not only does his belly go really really soft but he swims around as well. I really don’t know why I’m so surprised that I reptile can swim but it seem ace at the time. So I not pledge to take him swimming at least once a week, for my benefit if not his!
I also discovered a new search engine today called Teoma, I wont explain here how it works but I’ve found it really useful for university research. So much so that it has replaced Google as my home page.
19 February 2004
More emotion than a Bisto advert.
The highs – Having a lie in.
The lows – The internet connection in my house going down.
The highs – Realising I had forgotten to talk about acid rain in my coursework and having time to add it.
The lows – Trying to buy a continental breakfast but living in a dump which doesn’t sell nice food so having to have an egg and bacon sarnie.
The highs – The internet connection fixing itself.
Yes a roller coaster of a day I’m sure all will agree. As an extra high I discovered the pound shop sells boxes of Jaffa cake misshapes, ohhhh yeah, I think I know where my pocket money is going!!
The lows – The internet connection in my house going down.
The highs – Realising I had forgotten to talk about acid rain in my coursework and having time to add it.
The lows – Trying to buy a continental breakfast but living in a dump which doesn’t sell nice food so having to have an egg and bacon sarnie.
The highs – The internet connection fixing itself.
Yes a roller coaster of a day I’m sure all will agree. As an extra high I discovered the pound shop sells boxes of Jaffa cake misshapes, ohhhh yeah, I think I know where my pocket money is going!!
17 February 2004
Wreckin' Ball Fun!
For those that were wondering. Today I did have a hot roast pork jacket potato. It was lovely.
I just went downstairs to have a break from work and the house in empty. I was going to sit in the lounge on my own for a bit and watch 5 but figured there are about 121 better things to do in life.
Think I’ll take a bit of time to myself tonight and read a book.
I miss reading. Since starting uni this year I haven’t read a single book for fun. My mind is made, I’m going to go and read some William Blake.
Oh yeah, and check this out!
I just went downstairs to have a break from work and the house in empty. I was going to sit in the lounge on my own for a bit and watch 5 but figured there are about 121 better things to do in life.
Think I’ll take a bit of time to myself tonight and read a book.
I miss reading. Since starting uni this year I haven’t read a single book for fun. My mind is made, I’m going to go and read some William Blake.
Oh yeah, and check this out!
16 February 2004
Gotta love the Deli.
Reading week is upon us. Long days in the library getting through coursework is on the menu.
Lunch will mainly be a hot roast pork jacket potato.
Lunch just cant come fast enough.
Lunch will mainly be a hot roast pork jacket potato.
Lunch just cant come fast enough.
14 February 2004
3.4 million. Well if I must!
Its valentines. It’s a double lottery rollover. Unlucky in love and all that. . . . .
So we just had a full hours conversation on what we would do if we won the lottery today. There were surprisingly a lot of very selfless acts, many houses will be bought for friends and family, holidays will be rife and for all the youngsters in a family, trust funds will be stoked with the safe embers of hard cash.
So if there is any justice in the world, by tonight I may still be single, but I will no longer be poor.
Oh, and my bro and me will own the most awsome - I'm not afraid to use that word - motor bikes that man ever had the innovation to design.
So we just had a full hours conversation on what we would do if we won the lottery today. There were surprisingly a lot of very selfless acts, many houses will be bought for friends and family, holidays will be rife and for all the youngsters in a family, trust funds will be stoked with the safe embers of hard cash.
So if there is any justice in the world, by tonight I may still be single, but I will no longer be poor.
Oh, and my bro and me will own the most awsome - I'm not afraid to use that word - motor bikes that man ever had the innovation to design.
12 February 2004
Robots. . .literally in disguise.
Redefing thie word Agregious. If you have every owened Transformers, you have to go here.
The Door Of The Car Becomes An Arm With A Gun. . . . COOL!!!
The Door Of The Car Becomes An Arm With A Gun. . . . COOL!!!
4 days of dirge.
Literally nothing of interest has happened to me in the last 4 days. The moment it does, or the moment something mundane and average happens which I can pretend was exciting, I will post.
Until then you will just have to make do.
Many apologies my minions.
Until then you will just have to make do.
Many apologies my minions.
09 February 2004
That warm fuzzy feeling that comes from knowing you were right all along.
My night of work turned into a night of sewing my coat up after I found out that there was a 40cm rip in the liner. Bummer.
We had quite a cool lecture for once today where we talked about peoples vulnerabilities and who we should worry about saving and who not. Then afterwards we split up into groups and the whole "ownership of risk" came up and my group agreed that people should take more care of themselves and not look to the government to protect them against everything. . . .hmm. . sounds stunningly similar to the statement I made about two months ago which I got shouted down for.
Interesting. ( insert picture of me looking pleasantly pleased with myself here )
We had quite a cool lecture for once today where we talked about peoples vulnerabilities and who we should worry about saving and who not. Then afterwards we split up into groups and the whole "ownership of risk" came up and my group agreed that people should take more care of themselves and not look to the government to protect them against everything. . . .hmm. . sounds stunningly similar to the statement I made about two months ago which I got shouted down for.
Interesting. ( insert picture of me looking pleasantly pleased with myself here )
08 February 2004
Minimum bet at the Tote, one pound.
My cyclic life has been broken.
After getting into the routine of working throughout the week and seeing how high I could get my stress levels, and then drinking them away during the weekend by seeing how high I could get my blood alcohol levels, I have found a new release. . . . betting!!!
Yes, from alcohol to betting, how my life has progressed.
I went to the Dog Track last night and it was so mindblowingly fun I didn't even want to drink. Yes, there was a bar there and I just wasn't interested. That's how much fun I was having. I cannot remember being out on a Saturday night at uni and not wanting a drink. I had a pint when I got there cause we didn't really know what we were doing and so just watched the first race. Then the betting started and once I got trackside it was chicken and chips with hot chocolate all the way! It was great. It started snowing and that just made me love it even more. Stood out in the cold of night, getting snowed on, ticket in hand, the hare is on the move, the gates open, half a dozen dogs burst out and jostle for the all important first place going into the corner, my dog is leading, but on the back straight he starts losing ground, I'm screaming for Poncho Crisis to get a move on, he gets pipped at the post by a nose after leading the whole race, the ticked gets ripped in two, thrown in the air, the race guide comes out and all my attention is drawn to the next set of six.
If you have never been to the dogs, you need to go. I only put a pound bet on each time, I won a bit, but obviously lost more. Then, at the end of the day I had spent about as much as I would have in the pub, but had a lot more fun and not been legless at the end of the night.
Gambling is the new Alcohol.
After getting into the routine of working throughout the week and seeing how high I could get my stress levels, and then drinking them away during the weekend by seeing how high I could get my blood alcohol levels, I have found a new release. . . . betting!!!
Yes, from alcohol to betting, how my life has progressed.
I went to the Dog Track last night and it was so mindblowingly fun I didn't even want to drink. Yes, there was a bar there and I just wasn't interested. That's how much fun I was having. I cannot remember being out on a Saturday night at uni and not wanting a drink. I had a pint when I got there cause we didn't really know what we were doing and so just watched the first race. Then the betting started and once I got trackside it was chicken and chips with hot chocolate all the way! It was great. It started snowing and that just made me love it even more. Stood out in the cold of night, getting snowed on, ticket in hand, the hare is on the move, the gates open, half a dozen dogs burst out and jostle for the all important first place going into the corner, my dog is leading, but on the back straight he starts losing ground, I'm screaming for Poncho Crisis to get a move on, he gets pipped at the post by a nose after leading the whole race, the ticked gets ripped in two, thrown in the air, the race guide comes out and all my attention is drawn to the next set of six.
If you have never been to the dogs, you need to go. I only put a pound bet on each time, I won a bit, but obviously lost more. Then, at the end of the day I had spent about as much as I would have in the pub, but had a lot more fun and not been legless at the end of the night.
Gambling is the new Alcohol.
06 February 2004
The requested URL /F was not found on this server.
Lucky old me. The database at the library is down. Hmmm, let me think. How much research can I do now. . . . wait a bit. . . .oh yes, non.
Bummer.
Bummer.
My cd burner has lost its burn.
What was once the greatest thing in my pc has become a redundant extra cd drive. I managed to get through - wait for it - 16 cd's last night trying to work out what in all that is technological could be up with it. My conclusion. It's shafted.
I've been on the same bit of coursework for far too long now so I'm having a break and doing what I do best. Internet research for essays. So today I have my remaining coursework briefs in front of me and I plan to get through a ream of paper and a substantial amount of toner.
Might just end up checking my mail as well!
I've been on the same bit of coursework for far too long now so I'm having a break and doing what I do best. Internet research for essays. So today I have my remaining coursework briefs in front of me and I plan to get through a ream of paper and a substantial amount of toner.
Might just end up checking my mail as well!
03 February 2004
Crisis Command. Could you screw the country??
I am beside myself.
I have never seen such a public display of inadequacy in decision-making, problem solving and judgement. Yes, I'm talking about Crisis Command which was on BBC 2 tonight.
I mean, I know I might see this from a different perspective as it is "my field" so to speak but . . . oh man .. . .how dumb can some people be??
They trusted terrorists, they didn't close the flood gates, and when he said - with regards to a hijacked plane - "There has never been a recorded case of this in history." I LITERALLY nearly had apoplexy. Oh man, it was like torture. It would not have been possible to take longer to make decisions, decisions that could have saved peoples lives.
When you procrastinate you choose last. Learn the lesson.
Anyway, I have to try and sleep now. This will be a mission all of its own for me.
I am beside myself.
I have never seen such a public display of inadequacy in decision-making, problem solving and judgement. Yes, I'm talking about Crisis Command which was on BBC 2 tonight.
I mean, I know I might see this from a different perspective as it is "my field" so to speak but . . . oh man .. . .how dumb can some people be??
They trusted terrorists, they didn't close the flood gates, and when he said - with regards to a hijacked plane - "There has never been a recorded case of this in history." I LITERALLY nearly had apoplexy. Oh man, it was like torture. It would not have been possible to take longer to make decisions, decisions that could have saved peoples lives.
When you procrastinate you choose last. Learn the lesson.
Anyway, I have to try and sleep now. This will be a mission all of its own for me.
I am beside myself.
02 February 2004
£15 a head and the Belly-dancer for free.
Well this weekend had relaxed written all over it. a nice chilled out night in Friday and then an impromptu stint to a restaurant on Saturday (Belly-dancers and all!!). Very nice.
Went to a baptism on Sunday. It was very nice, there was a whole troop of us from university so we turned the place a little rowdy -in the nicest possible way- !! It was a really nice service and the preacher was really getting into it which is always a bonus. The funniest point had to have been when the first woman was getting baptised. She was an ahem. . older. . lady and in her little talk had said how she had never had her face underwater since she fell in a pond as a kid. So there she was, stood in the water, hands crossed in front of her, ready to fall backwards. There was a guy doing the blessings and he started talking.
"Now before you do this, we have a problem. . . . PROPHECY!! PROPHECY!!"
You should have seen the look on her face, this poor woman who was beside herself with nerves anyway, almost died before she had chance to be baptised!
After that, we cheered when Holly went under, then had tea and muffins and went to the pub for some celebratory drinks.
I got another piece of coursework back today and once again managed to do worse than I thought I would. Still, on a happy note, one of the guys on the course got 91%. Wow. I'm going to get his essay off him and see what he did. That is the highest mark I have known anyone get for an essay in all my three years. Good one Noel.
Went to a baptism on Sunday. It was very nice, there was a whole troop of us from university so we turned the place a little rowdy -in the nicest possible way- !! It was a really nice service and the preacher was really getting into it which is always a bonus. The funniest point had to have been when the first woman was getting baptised. She was an ahem. . older. . lady and in her little talk had said how she had never had her face underwater since she fell in a pond as a kid. So there she was, stood in the water, hands crossed in front of her, ready to fall backwards. There was a guy doing the blessings and he started talking.
"Now before you do this, we have a problem. . . . PROPHECY!! PROPHECY!!"
You should have seen the look on her face, this poor woman who was beside herself with nerves anyway, almost died before she had chance to be baptised!
After that, we cheered when Holly went under, then had tea and muffins and went to the pub for some celebratory drinks.
I got another piece of coursework back today and once again managed to do worse than I thought I would. Still, on a happy note, one of the guys on the course got 91%. Wow. I'm going to get his essay off him and see what he did. That is the highest mark I have known anyone get for an essay in all my three years. Good one Noel.
30 January 2004
It's so bad it's gooood.
I just had a meeting with my lecturer and they said everything about my plan is good because I can spend the whole of my coursework saying why it would never work.
Oh well, silver linings and all that.
Oh well, silver linings and all that.
29 January 2004
A flicker of winter.
The snow came, we ran and saw how far we could slide.
The snow went.
The ice came, we walked and tried our best not to slide.
Snow has its moments, one of them is when it snows for the first time in ages and you get really excited about it. We managed to waste 15 minutes of thrilling coursework by looking out of window and talking about how cool snow is. The second snow moment is when it gets people stuck in cars. For weeks now we have know a "big freeze" was on the way and then when it comes and hundreds of people get stuck for hours in traffic jams, they moan and blame the council. Watching these people on news reports just makes my "hot chocolate with marshmallows" day. The third snow moment is when it turns to a crappy brown mush and you start moaning because the capillary action of your trousers means you end up with wet knees.
Today I have been researching a risk reduction scheme for a small island which has a massive great big volcano on it. Everything that I have proposed seems almost pointless as if the volcano decided to blow, there is nothing anyone can do about it. I've made them a bit safer with regards to earthquakes, landslides and hurricanes, but if that volcano decides it's all over . . . then its all over.
The snow went.
The ice came, we walked and tried our best not to slide.
Snow has its moments, one of them is when it snows for the first time in ages and you get really excited about it. We managed to waste 15 minutes of thrilling coursework by looking out of window and talking about how cool snow is. The second snow moment is when it gets people stuck in cars. For weeks now we have know a "big freeze" was on the way and then when it comes and hundreds of people get stuck for hours in traffic jams, they moan and blame the council. Watching these people on news reports just makes my "hot chocolate with marshmallows" day. The third snow moment is when it turns to a crappy brown mush and you start moaning because the capillary action of your trousers means you end up with wet knees.
Today I have been researching a risk reduction scheme for a small island which has a massive great big volcano on it. Everything that I have proposed seems almost pointless as if the volcano decided to blow, there is nothing anyone can do about it. I've made them a bit safer with regards to earthquakes, landslides and hurricanes, but if that volcano decides it's all over . . . then its all over.
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